Action replays with sound

Back in the day, action replays didn’t have sound. This was the right way of doing things.

You don’t need a big flashing R in the corner of the screen or anything like that, but you do need to know that it’s an action replay. Obviously, if you’re sitting there watching, you know when they’re playing a replay and it’s not a problem. But you’re not always sitting there watching – sometimes you’re making a brew or getting a beer.

Cricket watchers have a Pavlovian response to sudden crowd noise. They know that something has happened and they rush to see what. It never fails to amaze us when non-cricket fans are completely oblivious and just carry on talking as if nothing’s happened. Their ears aren’t attuned to the noise. They don’t know. They are, in short, simple, pitiful creatures.

At one point last weekend, we heard crowd noise while we were upstairs. We leapt up – terrifying the cat in the process – tumbled down the stairs and watched Kevin Pietersen leaving that straight one for about the 60th time that day. It was nothing.

The cat is composing a letter of complaint to Sky Sports.

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17 Appeals

  1. What about replays due to those endless rain delays of childhood that resulted in occasional banners at the bottom reminding you that ‘you were watching the 1985 Natwest Trophy Final between Essex and Nottinghamshire’, even though it was 1988. They’d have been even shitter without sound.

  2. On Tues night the Pro 40 b’n Warks & Middlesex was rained off and Sky treated us to a re-run of a T20 game b’n Hants & Sussex in 2004. Hants bowled Sussex out for about 67 and then only just chased it down with one over to spare and 7 wickets down when Tremlett heaved a big six. Glorious stuff….if not of the same ilk of the old days with the big flashing red ‘R’.

  3. I agree KC. Here I am trying to do a bit of work on the sofa with the telly on, the screen just peeping over the top of my laptop… At 11.30 I hear a shout…I see Australian arms go up…I see Cook walking off… my heart plummets down into my stomach as I think of the taunting I shall have to endure from The Australian at Lunch.
    Only moments later does the teeny tiny caption “Test 1 Cardiff” flash up at the top of the screen and normal breathing and heartrate resumes.

    I also wish they would ditch the OTT player introductions before the start of play. It’s just not cricket old boy!

  4. That was clearly “1st Test, Cardiff” but my brain is overrun with elementary maths teaching at the moment, apologies.

  5. King Cricket

    July 16, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    You teach kids maths at your own home with the cricket on the TV?

    There’s worse ways to learn, we suppose. Make sure they understand the follow-on.

  6. And why you can’t have two fielders behind square on the legside. That is also very important to understand. Understanding that is the key to understanding all cricket.

  7. Sadly no, I’m just learning to teach maths. Meaning I am highlighting and making notes in front of the cricket.
    Cricket would be a marvellous way of teaching children maths – especially if you can get them to keep score at weekend matches (which is clearly what future Kinder SW will be doing as soon as it can grip a pencil)

    Sadly I can more clearly see myself resorting to the less patient 3B method – Blackadder, Baldrick and some Beans.

    Re the replays – I wouldn’t mind seeing the Finger Knock replay a few more times along with the agonised cry of pain soundtrack.

  8. Slow motion replays were better in the eighties.

  9. S l o w m o t i o n r e p l a y s w e r e b e t t e r i n t h e e i g h t i e s .

  10. Cricketers’ hair was better in the eighties.

  11. This is the perfect manifesto. You have my vote, KC.

  12. Even the current eighties revival was better in the eighties.

    I know exactly what you mean KC and couldn’t agree more. Did I dream this or did they occasionally have a little red ball in the corner of the screen with an “R” in it?

    My mum is TERRIBLE for being taken in by the unheralded replay. She also thinks that every ball that is hit in the air must be catchable by someone if they only bothered to run. She is also constantly taken in by the bump ball, calling them as catches nearly every time. Trips to the cricket with her are peppered with her saying “why wasn’t that out?”.

  13. I know someone will set off the “PEDANT” hooter, but I feel bound to correct D Charlton.

    You can have two players behind square on the leg side. You cannot have more than two.

    That law was brought in as a reaction to bodyline bowling, btw, although it works pretty well to deal with the worst excesses of gash bowling in scratch cricket also.

    And now for a KC slow motion action replay of my main point and the expected response:

    “Y-o-u c-a-n h-a-v-e t-w-o p-l-a-y-e-r-s b-e-h-i-n-d s-q-u-a-r-e o-n t-h-e l-e-g s-i-d-e. Y-o-u c-a-n-n-o-t h-a-v-e m-o-r-e t-h-a-n t-w-o.”

    “P-E-D-A-N-T-!-!-!”

  14. This is the most apt post you have ever…errrr…posted. I have been fooled twice this morning already. I thought Swann was off the mark with drive through mid-off (Replay from Cardiff) and that Broad was dismissed again off his thigh pad (replay from Cardiff).
    We NEED to do something about this!

  15. They’re always making laws to stop people having fun, Ged – no buying alcohol at 3:00am on a Sunday night, no casinos in schools, no more than two fielders behind square on the leg side. A better response to bodyline would have been this:

    Law 27.2 In cases where the umpires agree that the field is set for “leg theory”, and when the batsman is hit on the body by a quick one, then the batsman shall be allowed to “have a go” at the bowler with no reprimand from the umpires. The extent of “having a go” shall be solely determined by the batsman with regard to his level of hardness. The batsman shall remove his helmet. The crowd shall come on to the field to form a tight circle around the players only under the condition that they shout “Fight, fight, fight…”

  16. King Cricket

    July 17, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Someone get Bert a job in a position of cricketing power.

  17. I’ll have a word with the committee chaps up at HQ on Bert’s behalf, once the current test match is over.

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