Alastair Cook: future England captain

I’m all in favor of a bit of testing out of squads – unfortunately we don’t seem to do it much, cos we persist with players of the ‘right stuff’. Ok we are treating Bangladesh as a testing ground, but I think it is really mean to foist Cap’n Max Factor on them, and us. Eyeliner boy needs to concentrate on his batting right now, he is pretty clueless with that as it is.

I’d rather give Swanny a go, if only for the joke factor – could be a hoot. But he can be articulate, captaincy wont affect his game. I don’t like Swanny but I am interested too see if he can set a decent field etc, and I’m sure he would garner more respect on the field, he might even grow up!

I know silly me! I was forgetting…the right stuff does not include personality does it. Damn – that’s where the Magnificent Key failed and failed badly. Swanny is lucky to be in the team at all!

Can we start a campaign – if Eyeliner Boy’s ‘right stuff ‘ is found not to be the right ‘right stuff’ can we make sure that he never ever ever captains again, or even does anything more taxing than carrying drinks. And start the quest for some better ‘right stuff’ to select our squad and captains by?

Should I diss him some more – or do you think I have done enough to ensure he plays a blinder now?

Shoot that aristocrat!

Swann should be made captain, because he is AWESOME. Off Spinner who tries to take (and takes) wickets, excellent lower order bat, and interesting Press Conferences. What moreis required of a captain?

Cook is the best man to lead England in the absence of any real captain. He will do as told, not challenge status quo and will have no vision of his own to impose on the team. A perfect temporary captain. Almost like a ‘night watch man’

Really. With you being a member of royalty, I am surprised at the bolshevik sentiments expressed here, KC. You should tread very carefully.
If, however, this post is merely a ruse to root out filthy communists, such as gerontius, prior to having them shot, then Bravo sir!

Our royalty was imposed by others not acquired by birthright.

In truth, we’re not that happy about it, but we’re four years into our reign now and it’s too late to turn back.

Blah blah blah, Animal Farm, Blah blah blah…
(I bore myself sometimes)

Much as it pained me to say it (local rivalries*), I thought Cook was a FEC when he started out. The way his career has gone on since then suggests that he’s more of a Monty than a Montgomery, thankfully.

I could be wrong, but I’m expecting insipid field placings and bowler rotation, resulting in a fairly boring series and an unspectacular England victory.

* As it turns out, Bedford School was found to be guilty of fixing their fees…hopefully it’s not a sign of things to come!
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/article588559.ece

I’m firmly in the ‘give Swanny a go’ camp – I suspect he has more tactical nous than Mascaraboy, he’d relish the job without it affecting his form, he wouldn’t play it too safe, meaning more results and less draws, and he’d also love to have complete control of the music on the team bus.

Not sure about him as a long term solution, but – like Riverdance in the Eurovision Song Contest – he’d be a very entertaining interval.

I say call up Rob Key.

Best man for the job by a long shot.

Although Swanny’s press conferences would be amusing if he got the job!

How about taking a gamble and picking up a totally new face and making him the captain straightaway. Surely worth taking a chance if they are down to Cook now. Any exciting talent around in County Cricket who has the maturity to be the captain?

It was always going to be a batsman because they don’t get dropped, ever.

Once this had been established there is only one young batsman who has performed consistently over a period of time and isn’t or hasn’t been the captain already.

Whenever I look at a picture of Cook, I am reminded of the Red Sox “Looks like Jesus, acts like Judas, throws like Mary” slogan. Cook doesn’t fit any of these, except possible the Mary part. Oh well.

Maybe we should start a campaign for Bell to be made captain.

Or maybe we shouldn’t.

I cannot really decide either way.

Alastair COCK.

Ian BALLS.

woo.

Why is Sex funny?

…and we all know what happened to the last Captain Cook – killed and eaten by natives in Hawaii.

What would have been really funny was to have given KP the captaincy back. Maybe he would look if he could be arsed then.

>Why is Sex funny?

Because it never happens to me

You mean if I have sex a lot it won’t be funny anymore? Good excuse to use.
Friend: Why don’t you have a girlfriend?
Me: Because I want sex to be funny

I said never happens to me, not never happens to you.

You two could get together and remove a good amount of humour from the world if it gets really bad.

Sex is funny because ordinary people look fairly ridiculous while having it.

Is that a real beard he’s wearing or more mascara?

As has been said, there is, of course, a well sorted pecking order for the Test captaincy.

- Public school educated southern batsman
- Any other southern batsman
- Southern all-rounder
- Northern batsman
- Northern all-rounder
- South African batsman / All rounder
- Umpire
- Opposition captain
- President of French Guyana
- A passing seagull
- Bowler

Surely the most sensible option is Colly anyway?

You would think so. He IS a current England captain, after all.

I think Saj Mahmood should be captain. The responsibility will be like manure and cause him to blossom. That would an ugly fucken blossom.

Switch your allegiances to Australia comrade, we have a fine tradition of proles leading the side.

Cook is a rising star of the England cricket team and he is such a wonderful player as well as..