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Andrew McDonald instead of Andrew Symonds

Bowled on 20th May, 2009 at 20:39 by King Cricket
Category: Andrew McDonald, Andrew Symonds, Ashes, Australia cricket news

That is NOT naturalIf you don’t know who Andrew McDonald is, imagine a side’s seventh batsman and their fifth bowler. Now imagine he bowls medium-pace. Now wake up again.

If it weren’t for having hair that’s such a bright shade of red that it clashes with life itself, Andrew ‘Ronald’ McDonald wouldn’t be eyecatching in the slightest.

We’d have thought that natural selection would have taken care of Australians with gingeriness of this magnitude. That hole in the ozone layer can’t be kind to a strikingly red man who works outdoors for a living.

Australia have selected McDonald for the Ashes instead of Andrew Symonds. Symonds always comes across as something of a turd, but there have been many Australian cricketers whose turdiness hasn’t affected the quality of their cricket.

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  1. Reply
    steve   //   May 20th, 2009 at 23:25

    It’s not Ronnie vs. Roy

    It’s Twatto that’s been chosen instead of Symonds, cos he’s a Flintoff imitation. He’s the closest we’ve got to a Fred. England should be flattered. Imitation is the highest form, after all.

    Now there’ll be two teams designed by a camel, um…, I mean a committee.

    Looks like a sodden Ashes.

  2. Reply
    ceci   //   May 20th, 2009 at 23:58

    I’m still gawping at his eyebrows on that pic – they didn’t seem that violent when he was playing in the IPL thing yesterday which is a pity as his bowling/batting were v dull and could have done with a bit of gingering up

  3. Reply
    wolf   //   May 21st, 2009 at 02:05

    Roy probably has better things to do anyway. Like fishing, or dinner with the Hayden’s for example.

    The fact is Symonds did not perform well in the 4 day games and the selectors for some reason seem to think we need an allrounder. The decision to take Brett Lee along is probably more curious than McDonald.

  4. Reply
    Fred Grace   //   May 21st, 2009 at 06:20

    Wolf, I’ll bet you a pint that Lee takes 20 wickets in the series.

  5. Reply
    Ed   //   May 21st, 2009 at 07:10

    My God, that picture is horrific. Does he do kid’s parties?

  6. Reply
    wolf   //   May 21st, 2009 at 07:10

    Fred while it’s more than I will ever get for my country 20 wickets in an ashes series is nothing special – as proof I offer the fact that Tim May managed 21.

    Australia would probably be better served in the medium term by bringing over a younger bowler with more recent long format form eg Bollinger. Bowling a couple of good 4 over spells in a subcontinental farce does not demonstrate a return to form.

  7. Reply
    Ged Ladd   //   May 21st, 2009 at 07:13

    Surely that red top comes straight from a bottle?

  8. Reply
    the librarian   //   May 21st, 2009 at 08:58

    Look again… it’s Austin Powers one time enemy Fat Bastard (after the Subway diet.)

  9. Reply
    Dave   //   May 21st, 2009 at 09:08

    Steve, and like Fred he’s guaranteed to break down half way through the series.

  10. Reply
    D Charlton   //   May 21st, 2009 at 09:59

    Why, oh why is his nickname Ronald?

    Presumably after Ronnie Irani – bit shit with bat and ball.

    And any more ginger abuse and I’ll … grrr … I don’t know … post an angry comment.

  11. Reply
    Bert   //   May 21st, 2009 at 10:30

    Here’s a photo to help you, D, of McDonald in his delivery stride:

    http://hissweetheart.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/ronald_mcdonald_jumping1.jpg

  12. Reply
    ceci   //   May 21st, 2009 at 11:12

    Ooer D Charlton – is that the well known ginger bad-temper showing?

  13. Reply
    D Charlton   //   May 21st, 2009 at 11:25

    Prejudice and generalisations – the last acceptable form of discrimination.

    Not all gingers have a f***ing temper. It’s just wrong. And unfair.
    GAH!!

    I hate you all…. I’m going to my bedroom to play with my 1989 Ashes Top Trumps. On my own.

  14. Reply
    Andy   //   May 21st, 2009 at 14:10

    Imagine my surprise to see Australia had finally bowed to international pressure and included a minority group in thie Ashes party. The ginger species, which is believed to have infiltrated the Australian land mass following the potato famine exports from Ireland in the 19th century have hithero only been able to look up to the like of Shaun Pollock for ginger guidance. They will now have Macdonald to show them how to carry a drinks tray, spare gloves, bats and general subserviance to the master species that is the white blonde, or in Brett and Shane’s case, bottle blonde male!!

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