Another day, another long-term plan

England have sacked their coach; the coach they hired about a year ago with a view to rebuilding the side in time for the Ashes series which starts in about 45 minutes’ time. We’re increasingly wondering whether they should just scrap long-term plans in favour of short-termism. It seems a more realistic way of operating.

Unlike his predecessor, Andy Flower, Peter Moores seems to have a decent knack for picking out talented players. Whoever follows him will doubtless benefit from this. Hopefully this next coach will get the opportunity to wring those same players dry in a period of unparalleled success.

When that period finally implodes, England should hire Moores for a third time to pick out the next batch of players and draw people’s ire until everything’s ready to go again. He could become some sort of ire-drawing, low ebb specialist; a man who builds decent foundations while simultaneously being blamed for the embarrassing lack of walls.

ECB chief executive Tom Harrison says the sacking has been made ‘as we focus on the future’.

‘Twas ever thus, but as any horologist will tell you, the future never comes.

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25 Appeals

  1. ‘The stone which the builders refused is become the head stone of the corner.’

    Moores 118:22

  2. Time to sack James Whitaker now too.

    I blame Ed Miliband.

    Why not give Moores Flower’s job? What does Flower do, again?

    And I doubt Gillespie will chose to coach England in the Ashes, although I might be wrong. Pretty embarrassing that the choice seems to be between him and Langer.

    Penny for Giles’ thoughts?

  3. I heard that the ECB was dispensing with the idea of a human coach, and instead appointing a virtual coach, whose decisions would be made by closely following the opinions of commenters on certain cricket websites. Expect a call up for Rob Key in the near future, but only if he grows a decent moustache.

  4. ooh, very badly handled i thought. strauss should definitely go

  5. (… and while we’re at it, moores’ eventual successor should just get sacked now, to save time)

    • It will be Moores who succeeds himself. He is after all the outstanding coach of his generation. In fact, this sacking is actually his sacking for his fourth stint in charge. His sacking for this stint is only to be done in a week’s time, after his reappointment for his third go.

  6. Totally off-topic: usually the banner ads here tend towards the saucy end of the spectrum, but I thought today’s one seemed right at home:

    Go wild for integrated labels

    • King Cricket

      May 10, 2015 at 11:20 am

      [Goes wild]

    • I’m getting one for a manga, in which a boy is saying, “My tutor has to look sexy.”

      Prefer your labels one, Simon.

    • I’m presently getting one about dating Russians, but usually I get told that if I’m shy DON’T CLICK HERE.

      Oh, for interegrated labels.

  7. Here lies Peter Moores. ‘The outstanding coach of his generation.’ 2007-09; 2014-15.

  8. Unrelated to anything, but has anyone read Leicestershire batsman Lewis Hill’s Wikipedia page? It’s a corker:,_born_1990%29

    “Unfortunately the Unicorns lost the game right at the death when the umpire had no bottle to give a clear run-out.”

    I was half expecting it to carry on: “He’s the best opening bat in the world! Nevermind anybody else!”

    • Appears as though Slurry’s bowling is to his liking.

      Not sure why we’re fielding three wicket-keepers in this match.

    • To be fair, “During the winter of 2013 he went to Australia and in just his 3rd game made a delightful 228n.o for Brighton Cricket club vs. Unley. Brighton declared on 308 for no loss, smashing all sorts of records” is almost as good…

  9. So perhaps this is bloody obvious, but…

    Moores picks the right players. He then fails to develop them in time to save his career, and makes gaffes like talking about data that suggest he should be kept out of the public eye.

    Is there any reason not to offer him a post as chief selector instead?

    • King Cricket

      May 10, 2015 at 8:06 pm

      Andrew Miller’s suggested he was possibly the outstanding candidate for Strauss’s job.

  10. Did Andrew Miller really think he should have got Strauss’ job?

    • King Cricket

      May 11, 2015 at 8:14 am

      Possibly not, but he makes the point that the role suits the skills he does have (identifying players, establishing the framework that took England to number one).

  11. Having briefly skimmed the papers, TV and entire internet over the past few days, it seems as if everyone is discussing English cricket. Headlines like “Old Leader Out Due to Poor Performance”, and “Who Will They Choose As New Leader” can surely not be about anything else. Anyway, here is what I have gleaned about public opinion on Peter Moores’s replacement:

    Our new leader must be progressive. According to my dictionary, this means in favour of progress. Again according to my dictionary, this means in favour of going forward. I take this to imply, therefore, that the new coach should be keen on front foot play. I am concerned that the people of Britain want Graeme Gooch back in a position of power.

    He / she must apologise for past mistakes. This seems fair. All mistakes should be apologised for, and if the actual culprit is not around, someone has to step in and do the job. Our new coach must therefore be continually sorry.

    There seems to be some debate as to whether they should be left or right handed. I don’t know why. Some people even want a centrally handed leader. This seems odd, as Shivnarine Chanderpaul is still playing.

    They have to be able to connect with people. In modern cricket parlance, the word “connect” is used interchangeably with “hit hard”, as in “He’s really connected with that one.” So a coach with a tendency to hit people hard. Perhaps this is a cry for Shaun Udal to return.

  12. I hate to say this, but…

    Bat hitting cricketing runs for that there Kevin Pietersen

    • 304*, dropped four times though and all against a high-calibre attack.

      Probably to no avail though – if he made, say, a million, would Strauss etc pick him?

    • Second division runs, innit.

    • You can only marmalise the mediocre county attack put in front of you…

    • Flash forward to tomorrow.

      “Congratulations on the new job, Andrew. So, first question…”

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