Author Archive

Shahid Afridi can bat again even if Twenty20 doesn’t flatter him

It pains us that a whole generation of young cricket watchers won’t ‘get’ Shahid Afridi.

Even after watching him hit 51 off 34 balls, they still won’t get it. Twenty20 has legitimised the Shahid Afridi approach to batting and legitimacy has no place in the world of Shahid Afridi. Shahid Afridi hit the fastest ever international hundred in his first innings for Pakistan. Shahid Afridi has tried to better that in every innings ever since, whether in form or out of form; whether in a Twenty20 run chase or trying to save a Test.

The man is a warped genius blessed with some kind of invisible forcefield that protects him from reason and common sense.

His bowling’s brilliant as well, but again that’s to not ‘get’ Shahid Afridi.

Our World Twenty20 XI

Tell you what’s boring: people picking fantasy teams and then publishing them on their websites. Who cares? The arrogance of these people to think anyone would be remotely interested.

Here’s ours.

1. Chris Gayle – plays forward defensives and sixes with the same facial expression
2. Tillekeratne Dilshan – reliable, effective and has given us the rather frightening ‘Dilscoop’ where you basically try and play the ball into your own face
3. AB De Villiers – he was on this list before the tournament even started
4. Kevin Pietersen – you expect more, but he scored a good few runs at a fair lick
5. Yuvraj Singh – turdish exterior can’t sully clinical six-hitting ability
6. Kumar Sangakkara – enduring the stench of ‘glove hands’ for a week or two
7. Roelof van der Merwe – we’re still not entirely sure how, but no-one can score off this boss-eyed tweaker (Saeed Ajmal a very close second for this spot)
8. Wayne Parnell – yet another South African fast bowler – great…
9. Umar Gul – reverse swing it at the stumps, repeat, repeat, repeat…
10. Lasith Malinga – that arm is getting lower than a Barry White record played at the wrong speed (finger on the cultural and technological pulse, as ever)
11. Ajantha Mendis – his weirdness sometimes obscures his brilliance

Dwayne Bravo is 12th man. David Lloyd and Anil Kumble commentate.

Mitchell Johnson and Stuart Clark reveal the extent of institutionalised avian molestation in Australia

“It’s interesting to see each other’s balls.”

So said Mitchell Johnson this week.

Apparently the Aussies have been discovering that the balls in England aren’t like the ones they’re used to back home.

Stuart Clark explained further:

“I think it’s just we’ve grown up playing with Kookaburras for so long that it takes a little bit of time to get used to their balls.”

But get used to them they will.

India Twenty20 failure

India are really bad at Twenty20. Their bowlers lack variety, the batsmen can’t innovate and the domestic structure has too little riding on each game, meaning a side can finish fourth and still win the league.

Turns out the IPL isn’t the ultimate Twenty20 school.

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