Bring forth the dobble
Paul Collingwood’s bowling was always a bit too canny to be proper dibbly dobbly medium-pace. There were too many cutters; too much innovation. You don’t get any of that crap from Jonathan Trott.
England’s four bowler policy means the batsmen have to chip in with a few overs. Ravi Bopara’s steady when he plays. Kevin Pietersen’s nicely erratic. Jonathan Trott dobbles. It’s good to see.
Dobbling is a much underrated trade. People think it’s boring because it’s neither pace nor spin, but the true cricket connoisseur cherishes the dobbler. The fielders move in front of the bat and in your mind’s eye they become plant pots and dustbins – the fielders of your childhood – as the cricket regresses to something altogether more basic.
Trott even got a wicket – LBW; a proper dobbler’s mode of dismissal. Only the elicitation of a spooned shot to cover represents a greater execution of dobblage.
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Jonathan Trott once took 7-39 against Kent.
http://cricketarchive.com/Archive/Scorecards/77/77867.html
What a day that must have been. If you’re worried that’s far too destructive and belies the trade, he came on to bowl at 530/3. Just imagine the parade of lower-middle order batsman gifting their wickets in the hope their captain will declare.
Cricket’s a bit weird.
Here’s to the dobbers!
*Raises glass. Realises there’s nothing in the glass. Pours some cranberry juice into the glass.*
Cheers!
Dobblers fuck with batsmen’s brains(*), that’s how they get wickets. Test batsmen know all about 88mph seam bowling, they know all about leg spin, but they don’t know the first thing about dibble or dobble. It’s as if the opposition captain had just brought on a mermaid to bowl Duran Duran mini action figures at them. Do you come forward or backward to mermaid-thrown Duran Duran figures? Do you come forward or backward to dibbly-dobbly bowling? See – same thing exactly.
(*) Not literally, of course(**).
(**) I think, although I can’t guarantee it.
Nested footnotes! Fun fun fun.
What action would a mini Simon Le Bon figurine perform?
The beauty of the dobble is that it relates to every form and grade of cricket played anywhere in the world.
At one point or another, you have been batting and thought ‘I cant get out to this dobbleage’. 5 minutes later you are sitting next to your teammates with your cranky pants on.
Conversely, you have been the deliverer of said dobblers and may have been fortunate enough to break a partnership.
Long live the dobble.
You’re right there. That’s the appeal of dobblery.
Nurdling & dobbling. That’s proper cricket that is. #BoycottBingo
Doesn’t work too well when your front-line pace attack consists entirely of dobblers as India found out in England last time around..
They didn’t respect the dobbler. They treated him like he was commonplace rather than something that should be reserved for special occasions.
I used to play cricket with someone called Vic. I found out after two years his actual name was Andy, and Vic was simply short for the “The Vicar of Dibbley-Dobbley”.
God could that man Dobble.