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Butt cracks balls and more

Bowled on 20th January, 2009 at 19:11 by King Cricket
Category: Pakistan, Salman Butt

Butt and upright toolWe dread to think what search engine traffic we’re going to get from that title, but you can’t sashay through life being called ‘Butt’ without some sort of consequences. It’ll teach some visitors the importance of the humble comma at any rate.

Prior to the first one-day international against Sri Lanka, Shoaib Malik said that he believed Pakistan played Ajantha Mendis better than any other side. Being as Mendis had taken seven wickets in the 14 overs he’d bowled at Pakistan, it was tempting to think that Shoaib had confused Ajantha Mendis with Mike Yardy.

However, Salman Butt then hit an unbeaten hundred and Mendis went wicketless, so we’ll give the Pakistan captain the benefit of the doubt. Khurram Manzoor hit 83, so that’s another young Pakistani opening batsman to add to the list.

Considering they rarely play, Pakistan manage to blood a hell of a lot of openers.

This film features marines using the bannister when they go down some stairs. What more could you want?

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  1. Reply
    A P Webster   //   January 20th, 2009 at 20:43

    It’s good to see Pakistan back in action – now if they can just get someone to play them at Test cricket…

  2. Reply
    Dave   //   January 20th, 2009 at 22:44

    Did Salman get his shades of blue confused and think he was playing India or something?

  3. Reply
    Sunny   //   January 20th, 2009 at 23:05

    yeah, he definitely got mixed up. butt was expecting india to show up but sri lanka came in as replacements.

  4. Reply
    Ged Ladd   //   January 21st, 2009 at 08:40

    I guess when he was the top boy at school he was the Head Butt.

    But I’m afraid I am simply unable to think of this player without thinking of a Smoked Salman Butty. In my cricket picnic bag with a nice crisp bottle of white wine and some cashews to nibble at before tucking in to the butties.

  5. Reply
    Bert   //   January 21st, 2009 at 09:14

    I think that is the first time anyone has ever constructed a paragraph with all of “crisp white wine”, “smoked salmon” and “butties” in it. It might have read less jarringly if the player in question was Pakistan’s unknown young legspinner, Salman Kanapays.

  6. Reply
    Suave   //   January 21st, 2009 at 10:10

    Smoked salmon butty.. Folk off, there’s no such thing. You have pig meat or chips in a butty, you posh tart Ged!

  7. Reply
    Pervy Pete   //   January 21st, 2009 at 13:26

    what a ridiculous website, it’s very hard to make head or tail of it, where are the dirty pictures please?

  8. Reply
    Jemile   //   January 21st, 2009 at 17:42

    nice title, haha !

    Suave, i reckon there are Smoked Salmon Butty’s or Batty’s

    Ya Queer Bugger

  9. Reply
    Suave   //   January 22nd, 2009 at 09:16

    Folking hell, I’ve been censored!

    I seem to recall you telling me I could swear on here once, cos I put asterisks in place of letters.

    Down with the king!

  10. Reply
    King Cricket   //   January 22nd, 2009 at 11:08

    The rules are very grey.

    If it’s funny swearing, it’s always acceptable.

    If it’s everyday speak swearing, it might get censored if there’s been a bit of a run of swearing. There’s been quite a bit of late, so you got edited. Apologies. It’s not personal.

    Be creative. We’ll never censor a ‘fork’ or a ‘frock’.

  11. Reply
    Mahinda   //   January 22nd, 2009 at 12:03

    How about a fook, KC?

    That’s a point of language, BTW, not an offer.

  12. Reply
    King Cricket   //   January 22nd, 2009 at 13:09

    Whatever. Mix it up. Keep us guessing.

  13. Reply
    Willy Weirdo   //   January 22nd, 2009 at 14:20

    Alright Pete! I think it’s some kind of fetish thing going on, with all that padding and that. Facking weird stuff mate.

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