“Play as Freddie Flintoff and become an integral player for England in this fast moving, high scoring arcade cricket game.”

That should perhaps read:

“Play as Freddie Flintoff and engage in long, soul-destroying rehabilitation programmes that are ultimately unsuccessful. Slowly come to accept that your days as an international cricketer are behind you, even though you’re only 32.

“Now features Crying Into Your Puma Pillowcase While Having An Existential Crisis mini game.”

You can order it in advance and still have time to waterproof your Nintendo DS so that your salty tears of sympathy don’t knacker it up for when you want to play Club Penguin.

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, Cricket computer games | reviews, previews and downloads | PC, Xbox 360, PS2, PS3, Wii by King Cricket
1 Comment »

It was because of the bungee clause.

Flintoff’s agent, Andrew Chandler, explains why his client has turned down an incremental England contract which might have stopped him playing in the occasional lucrative Twenty20 tournament:

“There were one or two things in it that made it difficult to sign like he wouldn’t be allowed to participate in dangerous sports and he’s possibly doing a television series in which he may do bungee-jumping.”

What more reason could there be?

Chandler goes on to use the phrase ‘has to’ in an unusual way:

“He’s got three young kids and Andrew and his wife Rachel both spend reasonable amounts of cash so he has to make plenty.”

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, England cricket news | Tests, ODIs, T20s by King Cricket
6 Comments »

Andrew Flintoff should keep a close eye on all his cricket gear. Stuart Broad will have his bats, his pads and even his box given half a chance. He’s not waiting until the big man’s gone before taking over.

When Swann got North, we yelped like a female coati. When Broad bowled Haddin, we went up an octave. It sounded like a baby Bongolava mouse lemur had been kicked in the nuts.

We’re far happier seeing an England all-rounder of the future scything through Australia like a laser through hot butter. It bodes well for the future.

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, Ashes, England cricket news | Tests, ODIs, T20s, Stuart Broad by King Cricket
7 Comments »

It’s his last Test, so we’re going back to calling him ‘Andy’. That’s what he always used to be, before the media started calling him ‘Andrew’ and then ‘Freddie’.

Andy is a good, functional name. It gets the job done. It’s the kind of name you’d be happy to buy a pint for, knowing you’d get one back next time you were a bit strapped for cash. It’s the kind of name that can help you out with the electrics because you’re scared of them, thinking you’ll kill yourself even when the power’s off.

We’ve reinstated Flintoff as Hero Number One for reasons unrelated to any of that though. We’re doing it because he said the following:

“You talk about momentum – it seems to be the buzzword of the minute – but this is a one-off Test match.”

Test cricketer renounces momentum. It’s a good day.

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, Ashes, England cricket news | Tests, ODIs, T20s by King Cricket
9 Comments »

Cardiff and Lord’s hosted great Test matches, but the Ashes has really got going at Edgbaston. It’s the crowd.

We went on Saturday and much as we love eating sandwiches in the rain, Sunday showed what we missed. It clearly affects the players who were suddenly all very interested in talking to their opponents between deliveries.

The day ended with a healthy debate between James Anderson and Shane Watson. Watson’s mum must have been in the crowd, because he doesn’t seem the type to stand up for himself otherwise. Earlier on, Graeme Swann and Stuart Broad had sledged Mitchell Johnson, seemingly unaware that they were the batsmen and supposed to be on the receiving end.

Broad got an earful off just about everybody, but being posh and looking about 15 has doubtless provided good preparation for this sort of treatment. He gives as good as he gets and seems to really enjoy himself.

But the highest compliment you can pay the Edgbaston crowd, is that they somehow coaxed a batting performance out of Andrew Flintoff – 74 runs thumped off 79 balls.

• Edgbaston + Flintoff + beer = atmosphere
• Atmosphere + Flintoff = a Flintoff performance
• A Flintoff performance + Edgbaston + beer = a crowd that improves England by about 10 percent

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, Ashes, England cricket news | Tests, ODIs, T20s by King Cricket
11 Comments »

We wrote a post about whether England needed Andrew Flintoff, but we’ve deleted it.

The gist was:
Bifidus digestivum: do we need it? Companies with ’solutions’ in their name: do we need them? Andrew Flintoff: do we need him?

After watching him clatter helmets, wedge in yorkers and shatter stumps all morning, the question seems redundant. On top form, Test cricket needs Andrew Flintoff, let alone just England. How was this only his third five wicket haul?

But he is going at the end of this Ashes series. Andrew Flintoff’s celebrations say he’s not one of us any more. Where once he was joyously uninhibited, now there’s self-aware posing. So maybe the time’s right. He’s still a hero though and no amount of posturing will take the gloss of that.

Taking five wickets to win Ashes Tests can’t do his reputation any harm, either.

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, England cricket news | Tests, ODIs, T20s by King Cricket
19 Comments »

As in, it’s the advert featuring Andrew Flintoff, not an advert for Andrew Flintoff.

Fred pretty much markets himself.

They’re selling off the pedalo for charity as well. We’ve always wanted to own a famous pedalo.

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, Cricket videos by King Cricket
No Comments »

Have you seen the size of him and the way he bowls? It’s because of that.

Andrew Flintoff’s body can get through 30-odd overs in a Test match as easily as it can get through the eye of a needle.

We imagine that if you’re Andrew Flintoff, the impact on your joints when bowling feels like jumping off the garage roof while holding a big telly. He’s not built for fast bowling any more than an otter’s built for refrigerating food products.

Regardless of this, our official editorial stance about this news is ‘gutted’.

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, England cricket news | Tests, ODIs, T20s, Retirement by King Cricket
14 Comments »

Bit of pace, bit of bounce, good control and then there’s what the lazy among us refer to as ‘presence’; or worse, an ‘X-factor’.

The concept of an X-factor always pisses us off. It’s not that there’s some mystical, unknowable attribute. It’s just that you haven’t bothered to find out what it is.

In cricket, it’s usually something psychological and which is therefore hard to quantify. Adam Gilchrist spoke about Flintoff’s bowling this week:

“He creates an aura of control, even if you get a good shot away he has that look in his eye, and a demeanour, that suggests it is all part of a big plan.”

It’s the kind of thing Shane Warne did so well – only with Warne it was a more conscious thing. With Flintoff you suspect it’s less deliberate, or maybe we’re doing him a disservice by saying that.

Anyway, the point is, it’s not frigging magic.

Tags: Adam Gilchrist, Andrew Flintoff, Ashes by King Cricket
2 Comments »

From the BBC website: “Bresnan ready for Flintoff battle”

Tim Bresnan must be getting feisty. Wonder what he’s said about Flintoff.

“He’s well within his rights to walk straight back into the team on his past performances and what he has done.”

Yep. Timmy Bresnan’s ready for battle all right. He’s got his armour on, sharpened his sword and asked Flintoff if he could possibly take his coat and would he maybe like a sherry and no it wouldn’t be too much trouble, not at all Mr Flintoff, sir.

Bresnan adds:

“I will be working hard to retain my place.”

Hold on to your hats people. This is personal.

Tags: Andrew Flintoff, England cricket news | Tests, ODIs, T20s, Tim Bresnan by King Cricket
3 Comments »