Ian Botham

Ian Botham’s rich mahogany armpits

Now there’s a post title for you.

We’ve had another Sunday post at Cricinfo that you’ll all have missed. It’s about great English cricket embarrassments and we wrote it after England had nearly lost to Ireland in the World Twenty20. They’ve been great since then and we’re taking the credit.

Ian Botham quote

“I don’t think it’s going to go away, the technology. I really don’t.”

Now we’re a massive, massive fan of primitive flint tools. We’d welcome a return to their chiselled, sedimentary perfection more willingly than anyone.

But we’re still inclined to agree with Sir Ian on this one.

The technology probably is going to stay. On balance.

Ian Botham says England will win the Ashes

Ian Botham’s been doing his bluff overconfidence thing again:

“What I’ve seen so far, I don’t see as too much of a threat and if England’s bowlers stay fit then they’ll win the series.”

This is why Ian Botham was a brilliant cricketer. He lets a few facts seep in, but not enough to divert him away from the path of supreme confidence.

We saw the path of supreme confidence once. We cut across it at 90 degrees precisely. We also tripped at the crucial moment so as to make no contact with the path itself. Then we got lost in the thicket of extreme doubt where a snake of anxiety bit us on the arse.

The problem is that while Australia’s bowling attack has looked mediocre, they’re playing in India. Their bowlers aren’t suited to Indian conditions and nor have any of them really played there much before.

We’ve said ourself that Australia’s bowling attack’s worse than it was, but let’s each round up some horses and hold them, as they say. Why we do this, we don’t know, but equine grippage is a necessary step when drawing conclusions from relatively small amounts of sample data.

Botham flouts health and safety regulations

Is that suitable footwear? No.

Should he be removing his hard hat? No.

Also, it’s generally accepted that a high-visibility tabard be worn over the top of ordinary clothing so that you can easily be seen.

Botham is wearing high-visibility clothing, but has concealed its garish, eye-catching qualities beneath a low-visibility tabard.

We’ve got to get us a low-visibility tabard.

Thanks to Sam for sending us the photo.

Duncan Fletcher on Ian Botham

Not literally. That would be hideous. That would be really, really, world-class, title-taking hideous.

No. This is the view of Ian Botham expressed in Duncan Fletcher’s book:

“‘Get rid of all the guys like Atherton, Caddick and Tufnell,’ he [Botham] told me.

‘Why?’ I asked.

‘Because they’re too old, rather go with youth,’ he replied.

‘Who then?’ I asked.

‘Graeme Hick and Robin Smith.’

‘But hold on they are the same age,’ I replied in exasperation.

‘But they are different,’ he said.”

We love this exchange. This is classic Botham. He’s not a man blessed with clarity of thought. Great cricketer, sterling charity-worker, excremental commentator.

Ian Botham normally waits a while before contradicting himself at least.