Jonathan Trott

Response to England’s fifth Ashes Test squad

Jonathan Trott, who is being dropped into a deep end infested with piranhas from a great height for his debut, said:

“I’m chuffed.”

Mark Ramprakash, writing on Twitter, (genuinely) said:

“Defecating in a package to send to Geoff Miller.”

Quite bizarrely, Trott seemed to echo Ramps’ thoughts when speaking about how he’d deal with the pressure:

“I’ll try to stay relaxed and let nature take its course.”

It’s the Ashes decider. Of course everyone’s crapping themselves.

Jonathan Trott of Warwickshire and England

England’s selectors have sprung a slight surprise in picking Warwickshire’s Jonathan Trott.

We’ll say two things:

1. Trott has scored a lorryload of runs on a pretty flat Edgbaston pitch (Jeetan Patel and Rikki Clarke have hit hundreds there this year).
2. Test cricket is played on pretty flat pitches these days.

Does the pitch negate his runs to a degree or does it mean he’s a batsman who ensures he scores when conditions are good and is therefore well suited to Test cricket?

Jonathan Trott doesn’t care either way. He’s just peppering the boundary boards and leaving those questions to someone else – just as he should.

He probably won’t play anyway. Picking six batsmen is the kind of cowardly thing Australia do.