Matt Prior

Four reasons why England scored so quickly in their second innings at Trent Bridge

Even without Ian Bell returning to the crease after being run out, yesterday was an odd day’s cricket. In what had seemed a low-scoring match, England somehow scored over 400 in a day. There were four reasons for this.

Ian Bell

When the bowling was good, he was better. England’s most adaptable batsman just couldn’t stop scoring runs.

Limp India

Eoin Morgan managed to squeeze in an entire innings of 70 while India weren’t really paying attention. It was utterly bizarre. As soon as they took the new ball and half switched on again, he was out.

Matt Prior

When your bowlers are tired, there can’t be many batsmen you’d less like to see at the crease. Ian Bell’s England’s most adaptable batsmen, but Prior’s the most selfless. There’s something of the Flintoff attitude about him. He always seems like his eye’s on the Test match rather than his own score. Plenty of players say they’d choose a 90 that contributed to a win over a hundred in a losing cause, but Prior says the same thing with his bat and his running between the wickets.

The outfield

Yesterday morning, a lead of 374 would have seemed ridiculously large, but the pitch has deadened a little and the ball is flying across the outfield as if the concept of friction has been discredited. A few quick wickets this morning and we’re not ruling out one of the all-time great run-chases.

Matt Prior opens against Bangladesh

Of all the available opening options, Matt Prior was pretty much our last choice, but we’re sick of having opinions and so have reacted without emotion. That might reflect a lack of caffeine at this early hour as much as anything.

Just thought we’d check whether anything had happened while we were writing those two sentences and the headline reads ‘Mushfiqur stumping snares Prior’.

And it’s back to having opinions.

The five best all-rounders over the next five years

Not sure we’ve got Imran Khan or Garry Sobers on the cards, but it’s not looking bad.

Shakib Al Hasan, Bangladesh, age 22

As a cricket-writer, we’re worried there’ll be no words left in a few years time, because they’ll all have been eaten by Bangladesh criticisers. Shakib Al Hasan will make people backtrack until they’ve returned to the womb. He is the best one-day all-rounder in the world and he is 22. He is not going to get any worse at any point in the next decade. Dwell on that.

Dwayne Bravo, West Indies, 26

Played a bit. Been solid. Time to push on, Dwayne.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni, India, 28

The most dangerous batsmen are those who can destroy an attack but don’t feel that they have to. For Dhoni it’s all about the runs. He’ll get them in singles, he’ll get them in ugly works to leg. He doesn’t care. He also doesn’t care about his average. He just wants to win matches.

Matt Prior, England, 27

No, seriously. Matt Prior has been one of the best batsmen in England for quite a while and being as everyone seems to have gone a bit quiet about his keeping, that must be acceptable as well. Despite his hairline, he’s actually 27. He could prove a very important player in the next few years.

Stuart Broad, England, 23

Don’t talk him up? Tough shit. We’re starting to believe that he can bowl, which is the main thing, while he’s got bags of time to sort out the batting, which has largely been okay anyway.

An Ashes win equals big money

You’re an England player. You’ve won the Ashes. You get in touch with your agent:

“Commercial opportunities. What have you got for me?”

Your agent’s silent a minute and you can hear him shuffling some papers on his desk.

“Hello. Are you there? Commercial opportunities. What have you got?”

Your agent clears his throat and says: “Er… belts?”

Matt Prior clearly did some DAMN GOOD WORK on this photo shoot, but Stuart Broad seems to be a rank amateur, so they made him say some stuff as well:

“I absolutely love the Druh Belts range and the colours are just amazing. They’re perfect to wear on a casual night out with jeans or with chinos and a jacket for a more formal look that is just a bit different.”

Everyone loves chino-friendly belts.

Matt Prior – not a pan-handed buffoon

What is fate there for, if not to be tempted?

‘Hey Fate, come out and play. We’ve got a Bagpuss box-set and a bumper pack of Ryvitas for you. Come on. You know you want to.’

Our point was something about Matt Prior not dropping the ball very often and looking beefily competent with a bat in his hand to boot, but that’s probably going to get lost amid much discussion about Fate’s somewhat irregular tastes.