James Anderson

Zaheer Khan and James Anderson

We’re all pretty lucky, you know. For the next few weeks, we’re going to get Zaheer Khan one innings and then James Anderson the next. It’s like our metabolism has suddenly allowed us a curry-pizza-curry-pizza diet. No muesli.

What follows isn’t really meant to be a comparison. It’s more about celebrating both bowlers’ strengths. It’s not about which of them is better. It’s about both bowlers being ace and hopefully lopping a few chunks off some oversized batting averages. Batsmen are dicks.

Adaptability

If we had to sum up Zaheer Khan, we’d say ‘jack of all trades, master of most‘. That phrase doesn’t stand up to much scrutiny, but what does in this day and age? Capitalism? The plot of the Phantom Menace? You? Us?

James Anderson is on the Zaheer Khan path, but four years behind. He’s become effective through adding a second and third dimension to his bowling (Zaheer has five dimensions). Anderson’s first dimension was always pretty tidy, however, and it’s a dimension that comes to the fore in England.

Going the distance

Zaheer Khan is cannier. Zaheer knows it’s a marathon, not a sprint; that your third spell counts as much as your first in the grand scheme of things. He tends to conserve energy for when he needs it.

James Anderson, by contrast, has taken the ‘being ridiculously fit’ option. As quick at 5pm as he is at 11am, he’s like a Tour de France cyclist – he’s all sinew.

Zaheer also gains points for his physique in our book. Paunchiness hovers around him waiting to pounce the minute he stops running around for a living. That’s something we can all get behind.

To devious bowlers toppling spoilt batsmen! [Raises mug and then stares at the clock, willing time to go at eight times speed, like in a computer game, so that the beer hour might arrive sooner.]

Ian Bell, James Anderson and doing a bit better when things aren’t in your favour

It’s always tempting to judge players on their best days, but with anything long-term – a cricket career, a relationship, an overnight stint watching the Ashes on TV – a better form of evaluation is to look at what happens when things aren’t in your favour.

You learn a lot about a person when everything’s gone to shit. Score 220 not out or take 6-40 and you’ve done something that will probably win a Test match, but those days are few and far between. That’s not what life’s like.

Life’s not chocolate and rainbows. Life’s a long, hard, unremitting slog where everyone’s out to get you and nothing goes right. Life’s mostly about turning bowled for a duck into caught at slip for 62. It’s about turning 0-120 into 2-60.

Sure, making the most of the high points is part of it, but in the grand scheme of things, every moment counts. Waiting at the airport is part of the holiday. That’s your lot. Make the most of it.

Ian Bell

The hundred today isn’t the best example, because when he came out to bat, he joined a batsman who was already into treble figures, but generally, over the last year or so, Ian Bell’s improvement has been about being better on his bad days.

Last winter in South Africa, Bell started doing the job. It wasn’t beautiful shots and a flawless hundred that won people over, it was a five-hour 78 to help save a Test.

James Anderson

James Anderson’s swing bowling will still claim its fair share of headlines, but that’s not the measure of the man. The reason why he’s now one of the best bowlers in the world isn’t because of that, it’s because he’s flattened out the troughs.

Where once it was a few overs of swing and then ball retrieval from the wrong side of the ropes, now reverse swing and containment are the fallbacks.

With both these players, the focus remains the same, but the picture as a whole has changed.

Mitchell Johnson owes Ryan Harris an apology beer

James Anderson and Mitchell Johnson were involved in a little verbal to and fro today.

It culminated in Johnson saying: “Yeah, and what are you going to do about it, mate?”

About 10 seconds later, Anderson yorked Ryan Harris.

The James Anderson plan

England showed us Plan A today – James Anderson beheads the innings with the new ball and then returns to sweep away the ankles with the second new ball. But you’re aware how fragile it is.

Today it worked, but even after taking three wickets in 2.1 overs, Australia still mustered 245, despite a few mistakes. Down under, it is a hard slog even on the good days. It must be bloody murder on the bad days.

The good thing for England is that James Anderson is doing his bit and he’s doing it brilliantly. He’s being given the narrowest of windows to make some impact and in this Test he’s slithered through like a greased invertebrate weasel.

Listen to the tin!

Unsure how to approach opening the bowling in the Ashes?

Simply consult ‘the tin’.

“Jimmy does what it says on the tin – he swings it both ways at pace with the new ball.” – Peter Moores

The tin is clearly very wise.

James Anderson gets hurt by the ECB

Complete this well-known phrase:

“You boys stop fighting or someone’s going to get…”

The ECB are normally so keen to cotton wool their cricketers that the poor sods can barely take a slash without someone checking they don’t direct the stream into their own eyes, blinding themselves.

With that in mind, it’s odd that fist fights should be an officially sanctioned activity. Someone thumped James Anderson during some boxing that formed part of England’s recent boot camp and cracked his rib.

This is a group of people who can’t play football for quarter of an hour without the paramedics being called out.

James Anderson and swing bowling

We’ve heard some odd things during this Test match, all of which revolve around the fact that the Duke cricket ball swings more than the Kookaburra used in Australia. Apparently This year’s Dukes swing more than the ones used last year as well.

The implication is that James Anderson’s blistering swing bowling is somehow irrelavant or worthless.

What?

This is entirely missing the point. The point is that James Anderson took 6-17 in a Test match after taking 5-54 in the first innings. That is a thing in its own right. That is a monumental thing and it was entertainment of the highest order as well.

We’ve got a light, hoppy, summer beer in front of us right now. It’s great. We’re not sitting here worrying whether there’ll be a malty, dark winter ale on sale in Bargain Booze in November.

James Anderson can’t be arsed with Australia ODIs either

He doesn’t say that explicitly, but that’s the gist.

“It would be a perfect time to be playing for our counties in the Twenty20 competition, especially while the two overseas players are involved, but it’s out of our hands and we have five one-dayers against Australia to try and cope with.”

If James Anderson doesn’t think England should be playing five one-day internationals (ODIs) against Australia when he actually needs a few matches to reestablish himself in the first eleven, then that’s not a good sign.

He also seems to agree with our Wisden Cricketer piece about how cricket followers’ focus shifts given half a chance by the fixture list.

We’re trying to work out whether we’re more bothered about the Twenty20 Cup or the Australia ODIs. It’s pretty even and considering one of those involves England’s greatest rivalry, that’s actually something of an indictment of the international fixtures. If the England players were in the Twenty20 Cup, that might even tip the balance in its favour.

Low key fast bowling triumphs No.1 | James Anderson

Ryan McLaren plays an immaculate cover drive for four. James Anderson bounces him with the next ball and the one after that. McLaren ducks them both.

Will it be three in a row? Yes, it will. This time McLaren attempts a hook, but misses and the ball strikes him on the front of the helmet, right in the middle.

The damage: McLaren’s contact lens has moved and the physio has to poke around in his eye to get it back in place. 0.1 of a point to James Anderson. The South African batsmen quake in their boots at the potential for temporarily impaired vision.

Jimmy Anderson sullied by marketing

Jimmy Anderson’s been signed up by everyone’s favourite overexposed cricket bat brand, Mongoose.

All you need to know is that the designer thinks that Anderson’s bowling is “an ideal brand fit for Mongoose”.

Imagine what state your soul would be in if you worked somewhere where people regularly said things like that and meant them. Just imagine.