Lies about pictures
Testing on cricketers
Animal testing facilities have recently taken to using cricketers in place of guinea pigs, mice and the like.
They make them joust and then the loser gets his leg taken off.
Don’t ask why.
3 Appeals
Everyone suddenly becomes aware that the stumps are liable to explode
No-one was quite sure what it was, but everyone agreed that it was very clear that the stumps suddenly seemed like they were going to explode.
Billy Bowden backed away. Monty Panesar attempted to protect himself with his oversized hands and AB de Villiers just threw himself to the ground.
4 AppealsAlways watch the ball
On no account stand six feet away from the stumps and watch the blimp instead.
Canny bowlers will take advantage.
5 AppealsAndrew Strauss miscomprehends Law 41.3
The batting side only gets five penalty runs added to their total when the ball hits a helmet belonging to the fielding side.
You can’t just repeatedly play the ball into your own face and hope to win a match.
2 AppealsIan Bell attempts to grow a beard
Sam writes:
“Here is a picture of Ian Bell attempting to grow a little beard.
“Look at the concentration on his face. It’s dedication like this that shows just how far English cricket has come.”
We asked Sam if he had a beard. Sam never got back to us about that.
10 AppealsStanford 20/20 gimmicks
It was only a matter of time before they introduce BIGGER and therefore BETTER balls.
But the Miami Vice style attire? That’s a step too far.
5 AppealsIndia practice ‘clown tactics’
“So I curl up behind him like this and then you give him a shove.”
India’s clown tactics were all well and good in theory, but when it came to carrying them out with an actual batsman present, everyone got confused and Sourav Ganguly ended up with a black eye.
4 AppealsAndrew Flintoff unveils his big surprise
“Voila!”
Brilliant, Fred. It’s a cricket ball. We’ve all seen a cricket ball before.
What’s next in your box of tricks? A bat? A box?
8 AppealsKevin Pietersen gets sledged by a worm
“What did you say, you little bastard?”
KP suffered a dislocated little finger and severe bruising to his fist shortly after this picture was taken.
4 Appeals
