Lies about pictures
Paul Collingwood and Graeme Swann engage in some combat mime sparring
Combat mime is a form of theatrical art whereby two combatants battle one another by expressing certain physical actions without sound.
Here Paul Collingwood and Graeme Swann are locked in a stirring head-to-head, where both combatants are doing ‘the window’.
Shortly after this picture was taken, Paul Collingwood opened his imaginary window straight into Graeme Swann’s jaw, forcing Swann to escape up an imaginary ladder.
5 AppealsMatthew Hayden attaches a mirror to the back of his bat
It’s to more closely monitor the ageing process.
‘Still a few wisps of hair at the front there. Not time to retire yet’.
11 AppealsCaptain fails to learn second fielding position
“And you: You go and field at, er, slip.”
2 AppealsGraeme Swann fails to conquer his bail addiction
For years Graeme Swann has secretly suffered from a rare and debilitating disease. Graeme is addicted to bails.
Graeme’s been through a number of treatments – enforced withdrawal, hypnosis, various types of medication – but in the end he just has to accept it. He’s a bail addict and he’ll never be fully cured.
During the second one-day international between Sri Lanka and England at Dambulla, Graeme fell spectacularly from the bail wagon.
Standing at third-man, he was suddenly overcome by bail lust. He charged in and snatched the bails before the astonished eyes of his team mates.
His latest treatment is to always carry two small pieces of dowel as a substitute for his beloved bails.
1 AppealAndrew Strauss given out ‘hunchback at slip’
Pakistan here successfully appeal for the little-known mode of dismissal ‘hunchback at slip’.
As he delivers the ball, Mohammad Sami notices that his team mates have smuggled Quasimodo into the first slip position and asks the question of the umpire.
This means of dismissal was removed from the laws later in the year after Zimbabwe hit upon the ingenious idea of actually selecting a hunchback as part of their first team.
9 Appeals
Darren Gough’s sinister offer
It’s a shoe.
We’re not scared of a shoe, Darren. There’s nothing wrong with having a shoe. It’s not like you’re trying to get us hooked on class A drugs or something.
14 AppealsShahid Afridi puzzles over which glove’s the left and which glove’s the right
[There used to be an image of Shahid Afridi staring at some gloves here]
Just try and cram one on. If you haven’t succeeded within two minutes try the same glove ON THE OTHER HAND.
3 AppealsGautam Gamhbir impersonates a cricket ball
Here we see Gautam Gambhir sidling up to a cricket ball in disguise.
[At least we used to, but now the image has been removed...]
If Gautam’s deception is successful, perhaps he’ll get to mate with the ball
Appeal
