Monty Panesar

Monty Panesar has played one Test X times

This statement was made my Shane Warne. He famously said that Monty Panesar hadn’t played X Tests but one Test X number of times. This is accepted as great insight all too readily.

It’s a nice catchy soundbite and it’s from Shane Warne, but does it really have much merit? It seems to rely on this notion that spin bowlers have to be wily and full of mystery, but as far as we can tell Monty was winning England a lot of matches doing things his way. There’s no harm in looking to improve, but Monty is sometimes ridiculed and belittled despite a Test record that would be the envy of most spin bowlers.

Imran Khan never said that Glenn McGrath hadn’t played 124 Tests, but one Test 124 times. Dennis Lillee never said that Shaun Pollock hadn’t played 108 Tests, but one Test 108 times. There’s more than one way to take wickets, no matter what your style of bowling.

Ian Salisbury played several different Tests.

Today’s image was taken by Sarah Ansell and indeed most of the images we will be using from now on will have been taken by Sarah Ansell. She and her photos can be found at www.sarahcanterbury.com. Get in touch with her if you wish to republish one.

Monty Panesar’s back

As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything.

It may not be the first time we’ve made that joke – it may not be the first time we’ve made that joke about Monty Panesar – but come on. Some events warrant special attention.

So what are the pros and cons of Monty Panesar being in England’s XI for the second Test in Abu Dhabi?

Pros

Monty Panesar is playing.

Cons

None.

So there you go, it’s a 100 per cent brilliant decision with no downside.

Evil Monty Panesar improves his bowling figures

No, Monty! Say it hasn’t come to this.

In a desperate bid to advance his case for England inclusion, Monty Panesar has been reduced to tampering with scoreboards.

2-20 sounds so much better than 2-120.

Monty Panesar’s back

As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got anklosing spondylitis or anything.

We’re frigging delighted about Monty Panesar being in England’s Ashes squad.

In a world of cynicism, underperformance and questionable motives, the man who literally jumps for joy at taking a wicket is king.

Monty Panesar plays lower standard of cricket to improve confidence

Surely this won’t help.

If Panesar’s in the slips then this is beneath back garden standard.

Is Monty Panesar hearing voices?

Panesar’s current coach at Highveld Lions, Dave Nosworthy, says:

“Somewhere along the line he had lost who Monty Panesar is.”

This does seem to be the case. Panesar says:

“What happened last year is that I had so many external voices to listen to … When I was searching for an answer I was going external … All the answers are inside.”

Why listen to other people when there are so many internal voices to listen to? Your own voices are far better informed about you and even if they tell you to set fire to things, they do it for a reason. Even if they tell you to give the financial director of your company a wedgie because he uses too many acronyms, they do it for a reason.

The police say you shouldn’t have punched that child, but they didn’t hear the American accent she was putting on. The voices did.

Monty Panesar to take control of his own mind

If you’re not in charge of what you’re thinking, just what ARE you in charge of?

A recent interview with Monty Panesar reads like a philosophical follow-up to MS Dhoni’s comments that led us to ask: Do you control the mind or does the mind control you?

“My mind was thinking of so many things and I couldn’t actually take many wickets.”

It’s hard in that situation. What do you do? Do you shout at the mind? Tell it to belt up and stop getting distracted? Panesar has somehow managed to get a grip on the situation. Since going to play for Highveld Lions, he says:

“I’ve been responsible for my own thinking and also for my own decision-making.”

No-one wants to be a mere puppet with the mind pulling the strings.

Monty Panesar playing for Lions in South Africa

What, like as a prize or something?
No. Highveld Lions are a South African domestic side.

So he’s not being paid in big cats then?
No.

Are you keeping an eye on his performances?
Yes.

So how’s he been doing? Why haven’t you reported anything?
Er, well… he’s been okay.

Would you say that he’s taken 15 wickets at an average of 39.06?
Yes.

Do you think that this question and answer format made this non-news any more palatable for the readers?
Not really. A couple of them might have got further down the page before they realised nothing was going to happen though.

Won’t they just be more annoyed because of that?
Probably, yes.

Is that what really matters to you? That you’ve got on people’s nerves more than usual?
Yes. That is one of the few things that makes us happy.

Monty Panesar’s bowling speed

People say that Monty Panesar bowls too fast and that he doesn’t adapt. People say that he’s a mindless idiot who hasn’t got the potential to develop his game.

He’s not moved on as most England supporters would have liked, but people have been going a bit overboard. There’s nothing like having a target. ‘Ace’ or ‘crap’ are the only options sometimes. Monty was ace. Apparently, now he’s crap.

Monty’s spent his cricket career bowling in a certain way and he’s experienced huge success through doing it. Now he needs to mix it up a bit, but it’s not really something he’s been called upon to do before. It might take a while.

While England were in India, Peter Moores said Panesar was working on a few things in the nets. Despite our natural cynicism, we’ve no reason to doubt him. If those slightly cryptic ‘things’ aren’t honed enough for Test cricket yet, then Monty’s wise not to use them.

But how hard can it be to change his bowling speed?

Well, like we say, Panesar’s been doing things a certain way for a long time. It’s second nature to him now. However, it was noticeable that after finally taking a wicket on the second day of the second Test against India, Monty suddenly started bowling slower.

When things aren’t going your way and confidence is low, it’s easy to revert to type. We know. It’s why we spend all of every winter in mute, motionless solitude.

Monty Panesar to live in Sri Lanka for a bit

England have been taking a more individual approach to player development in recent times and we’re all in favour.

Monty Panesar’s going to spend some time playing for the Bloomfield club in Colombo. He’ll get more experience of bowling in subcontinental conditions, but more importantly he’ll be dumped there on his own and might turn into a better-rounded human being.

Now we’re not picking on Monty here. We’d never do that. All we mean is that the man’s 26 and has been led by the hand his entire career. He’s played for Northamptonshire, he’s played for England and that’s it. It’ll do him no end of good to play and live abroad and have the responsibility of being the big player in a side.

He’s not going to suddenly master the doosra or the carrom ball, but he might develop a slightly different attitude – one where he’s more self-sufficient.

Quite apart from that, it’s interesting that the ECB also consider this arrangement to be useful practice before the Test series in India. We thought warming up before Test series was passé. We thought modern cricketers could just turn up on the day and perform at their very best. That’s why they have these constricted tours, right?