King Cricket
Thanks for stopping our website from seizing up in our absence
We massively enjoyed reading about the cutting of dangling seatbelts by stalkers and the breaking of greenhouses with airborne gnomes on our return.
We were also relieved to see that some of you took the trouble to point out news that we’d missed in the full knowledge that we weren’t there. It’s not a holiday without that happening. Thanks.
Finally, we were only slightly alarmed to see that the site was being run by someone we’d never heard of. Thanks to Prince Stickball for his efforts.
3 AppealsCricket news can live without us
We’re going away for a week.
We’ve written stuff to appear while we’re away, like usual. You can insult us in our absence, like usual. An occasional visitor can point out some major cricket news that we haven’t covered, like usual. And one of you can leave an insulting comment about our missing some major cricket news knowing full well that we’re away, like usual.
Go on. Do it. We’d be disappointed if you didn’t.
6 AppealsComing soon on King Cricket
Laurence Elderbrook has one more match left this season. We were quite pleased when his reports were met with initial apathy, because the man’s a bell-end and we wanted to get rid of him. Unfortunately, some of you seem to have warmed to him, so we’re having to find a way of keeping him on.
After having the idea appear in front of us without our having to do any actual thinking, we’ve decided to do an ‘Ask Laurence’ feature, where you can question the great man and get him to solve all your problems. Try and make a few of the questions about cricket because that’s his area of expertise.
You can leave comments, but it might be better if you email us so that we don’t lose them. Depending how many questions we get, this feature will probably start next week.
On a less irritating note, we’ve got something of rare beauty appearing on Wednesday, so make sure you visit then. We can assure you that, for once, something will be appearing on this site that isn’t rubbish.
18 AppealsYes, they really are letting us do that and no, we don’t know why
We’re doing some writing on The Wisden Cricketer website as part of our Care in the Community rehabilitation scheme. It’s okay – we’re being supervised.
The Wisden Cricketer is a friend to cricket blogs, so we feel obliged to link to their home page as well as our first blog post there.
The other articles on The Wisden Cricketer website are proper get-a-cup-of-tea-and-set-a-few-minutes-aside articles. They’re actually written by grown-ups. Go and have a look.
7 AppealsMatch reports and other assorted crap
Just to let you all know, we’ve changed our email address to kingcricket@hotmail.co.uk.
Our old email provider, Bluebottle, said we had to start paying for their service. They gave us 72 hours notice.
Any of the following will be more than welcome at the new address:
(1) Match reports. Keep them brief and under no circumstances mention the actual cricket.
(2) Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket.
(3) Pictures of signs saying ‘moron centre’.
Basically, send any old crap. Our standards are nice and low.
5 AppealsThe eleventh most influential sports blog in Britain
That’s us. Apart from the top ten, we’re first!
We were going to change the title of the site to ‘King Cricket – eleventh most influential sports blog in Britain’, but what if we go up a place or so? When do you cross the line from self-deprecating joke to feeble boast? Is it when you breach the top ten? Top three?
We heard about this from Patrick at Line and Length, who’s fourth. Apart from the top three, that’s first!
The rankings are from Wikio who make their calculations according to incoming links.
We’re going to stop drawing attention to recognition we’ve recently received now. Mainly because there isn’t any more.
15 AppealsBlog of the month
We’re blog of the month at Simply Cricket. This comes hot on the heels of being The Wisden Cricketer’s Best Of Blogs for April.
We haven’t had so much recognition since we were in India and everyone thought we were Nasser Hussain. This recent recognition is hopefully more justified, if only because we look nothing like Nasser Hussain.
TWC’s Best Of Blogs for May is Are You A Left-Arm Chinaman, a sound and long-serving online publication of admirably scattergun content. But you knew that already.
16 AppealsWe’re in The Wisden Cricketer!
The Wisden Cricketer’s a proper, grown-up publication.
Look, it’s actually tangible!
Here’s the bit where it says that it’s “the world’s no.1 cricket magazine”.
And here’s us!
No, really. Look!
And here’s Monty being conspicuously indifferent to it.
Turning away OR closing your eyes would have been sufficient, young man. There was no need to do both.
So there you go. Proof, if it were needed, that The Wisden Cricketer is the best thing made out of paper with writing on it. They’ve even got a piece about fat cricketers this month, which we’re pretty annoyed we didn’t write.
So go out and buy a copy. Don’t let the cat talk you out of it. He’s just bitter because he hasn’t got thumbs to turn the pages with.
29 AppealsWelcome to the new all-singing, all-dancing King Cricket
We never sing. We never dance.
What do you think then? You think that it’s ‘much the same’ don’t you? You’d be right.
Why not test out the comments though by offering a thought or two. Ideally not all of those thoughts would be negative, but we’re man enough to accept our punishment.
Also, don’t forget to subscribe again – or for the first time, if you’ve never made the plunge.
17 Appeals
