King Cricket » Lies about pictures

Testing on cricketers

King Cricket — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 11:56:24 +0000

Animal testing facilities have recently taken to using cricketers in place of guinea pigs, mice and the like.

They make them joust and then the loser gets his leg taken off.

Don’t ask why.

Warney finds the ball

King Cricket — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:18:56 +0000

“Here it is!”

“It was tucked between two of my rolls of flab.”

Everyone suddenly becomes aware that the stumps are liable to explode

King Cricket — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 10:05:56 +0000

No-one was quite sure what it was, but everyone agreed that it was very clear that the stumps suddenly seemed like they were going to explode.

Billy Bowden backed away. Monty Panesar attempted to protect himself with his oversized hands and AB de Villiers just threw himself to the ground.

Always watch the ball

King Cricket — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 10:07:19 +0000

On no account stand six feet away from the stumps and watch the blimp instead.

Canny bowlers will take advantage.

Andrew Strauss miscomprehends Law 41.3

King Cricket — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 11:01:27 +0000

The batting side only gets five penalty runs added to their total when the ball hits a helmet belonging to the fielding side.

You can’t just repeatedly play the ball into your own face and hope to win a match.

Ian Bell attempts to grow a beard

King Cricket — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 11:38:09 +0000

Sam writes:

“Here is a picture of Ian Bell attempting to grow a little beard.

“Look at the concentration on his face. It’s dedication like this that shows just how far English cricket has come.”

We asked Sam if he had a beard. Sam never got back to us about that.

Stanford 20/20 gimmicks

King Cricket — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 09:17:37 +0000

It was only a matter of time before they introduce BIGGER and therefore BETTER balls.

But the Miami Vice style attire? That’s a step too far.

India practice ‘clown tactics’

King Cricket — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 10:19:57 +0000

“So I curl up behind him like this and then you give him a shove.”

India’s clown tactics were all well and good in theory, but when it came to carrying them out with an actual batsman present, everyone got confused and Sourav Ganguly ended up with a black eye.

Andrew Flintoff unveils his big surprise

King Cricket — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:22:28 +0000

“Voila!”

Brilliant, Fred. It’s a cricket ball. We’ve all seen a cricket ball before.

What’s next in your box of tricks? A bat? A box?

Kevin Pietersen gets sledged by a worm

King Cricket — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:20:11 +0000

“What did you say, you little bastard?”

KP suffered a dislocated little finger and severe bruising to his fist shortly after this picture was taken.