What could be better than Ian Bell’s 199?
Ian Bell’s innings of 199 against South Africa was better than waking up on a Saturday thinking it’s a Monday and then realising the truth. It was better than hearing the phone ring and picking it up only to hear a dialling tone. It was even better than being asleep.
It had skill. It had determination. It had urgency when urgency was required. It had patience when patience was required. It had single-mindedness and it had beautiful, delicious remorselessness which we hadn’t even dreamed that Bell possessed.
So what could possibly be better than that? The obvious answer as to what could be better than an innings of 199 would be to say 200, but you’d be wrong. The correct, mathematically counter-intuitive answer would be an innings of 157.
For it isn’t just about the scoring or how the scoring’s done. It’s who’s doing the scoring. Rob Key hit 157 against Yorkshire this weekend.
He did everything that Ian Bell did, only he did it in Rob Key’s body, floating inches off the floor throughout and with the effortless indifference of a man who just doesn’t care, but who also cares quite a lot.
Andrew Flintoff, Simon Jones, Darren Pattinson, Tim Bresnan. How bloody wide of the mark can the mainstream media get? Very. That’s how wide.
Not literally under his captain. That would be painful, even allowing for Rob Key’s new, racing snake physique.
It was going down leg. We haven’t seen it, but it was definitely going down the legside.
Steven Finn bowled Rob Key for one yesterday. We said that
Joe Denly or James Hildreth? Joe Denly or James Hildreth? Joe Denly’s nickname is ‘No Pants’. Decision made.