7

Come in number six – your time is up

Bowled on 30th July, 2008 at 22:33 by King Cricket
Category: England cricket news, Michael Vaughan, Paul Collingwood, South Africa

We're getting full value for money from the 'dejected Paul Collingwood' picShove Michael Vaughan down to number six – that’s where England keep their worst batsman.

Paul Collingwood seems likely to lose his place. He has another innings, but does he honestly look like a man who’ll make use of it? It’s the latest chapter in England’s number six saga and after Tim Ambrose’s brief appearance in the slot, the chapters are getting shorter.

Where other nations value their number six batsman, England use it as a dumping ground for the newest arrival to the team, the most likely departure from it, or, in the case of Ambrose, whoever’s left over.

South Africa have vehement letter C denier, AB de Villiers, batting at six. India have VVS Laxman. India’s number sixes have averaged 13 runs more than England’s since 2000. Even Bangladesh’s average more and you’re not even supposed to include Bangladesh when you talk about Test cricket, because it’s an unwritten rule that they don’t count.

Vaughan won’t move to six, because he’ll see it as a demotion, but that’s because of the way England treat the slot. If number six weren’t such a tainted limbo, maybe the fall of the fourth wicket wouldn’t send such shockwaves through the side and maybe the earlier batsmen wouldn’t live in constant fear of that.

England v South Africa, third Test at Edgbaston, day one
England 231 all out (Alastair Cook 76, Ian Bell 50, Jacques Kallis 3-31, Andre Nel 3-47)
South Africa 38-1

This film features marines using the bannister when they go down some stairs. What more could you want?

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  1. Reply
    Ceci   //   July 31st, 2008 at 00:07

    Shove Michael Vaughan down to 16 and bring in Pink Bobby

  2. Reply
    Miriam   //   July 31st, 2008 at 01:08

    I was just about to say “Christ, he’s really getting his notional money’s worth out of the dejected picture of Paul Collingwood” but realise you say this in the hover caption.

  3. Reply
    Dada   //   July 31st, 2008 at 08:26

    From that picture it’s unclear whether he’s going in to bat or has just been given out.

  4. Reply
    Leg Break   //   July 31st, 2008 at 09:45

    “Where other nations value their number six batsman, England use it as a dumping ground for the newest arrival to the team, the most likely departure from it, or, … whoever’s left over.”

    That’s how we view openers…

  5. Reply
    Rusty   //   July 31st, 2008 at 10:59

    I never heard of such a thing before, a numbered spot in the national team being an undesirable residence. Doesn’t happen here. All numbers are fought down here. Except for no. 12

  6. Reply
    Dave   //   July 31st, 2008 at 21:46

    I reckon the number six spot has Stuart Broad’s name written all over it. No wickets? No problem!

  7. Reply
    Dave   //   August 1st, 2008 at 23:55

    Looks like our collective efforts to boost Colly’s confidence and encourage him on to a brilliant century have done the trick! Good effort, everyone!

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