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England 2009 Ashes victory gloating to last all week

Bowled on 24th August, 2009 at 08:18 by King Cricket
Category: Ashes, England cricket news

Matt Prior stumps Marcus North and makes people all over the country go all screechy

When Australia first landed in the UK, we renounced level-headed reportage in favour of mindless jingoistic cheerleading. Many of you might have thought that this reached a peak when we asked ‘are England going to win the Ashes?‘ last week and concluded ‘yes, of course they are’.

But they did, didn’t they? They only went and won the frigging Ashes.

We’re taking this as proof that ‘thinking about stuff’ is fundamentally flawed and ‘just kind of hoping that everything works itself out’ is far more productive.

It’s Sunday night as we write this, so we’re going to go and get a drink now. We’ve got all week to indulge in some real, full-on, world-class gloating and that’s exactly what we intend to do. Tomorrow we’re going to tell you why Australia lost the Ashes.

This film features marines using the bannister when they go down some stairs. What more could you want?

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  1. Reply
    steve   //   August 24th, 2009 at 10:29

    You don’t have to wait til tomorrow, KC.

    I’ll tell you now why we lost them —

    Because we wanted to. Because the burden of being so great was too heavy. And to make you Poms feel better about that absolute utter drubbing we gave you last time, the one that you’ve wiped from your collective memories, it was so painful.

    Remember?
    5-nil?

    so while your having your gloat, just remember that you can’t even have a gloat the size of the gloat we had last time.

    Congrats anyway. Til next time.

  2. Reply
    King Cricket   //   August 24th, 2009 at 11:02

    The day Australians want to lose will be a rum day indeed.

  3. Reply
    steve   //   August 24th, 2009 at 11:10

    A memorium to a lost Ashes:
    “tis better to have lost and loved, than never to have lost at all”

    (apologies to Tennyson)

  4. Reply
    Cricket Bats   //   August 24th, 2009 at 12:00

    If you loose a five match series the only reason can be that you simply weren’t good enough!

    Both sides were average and lacked in certain areas but in a series of 5, 5 day matches there should be no excuses for defeat and to be fair to the Australians they haven’t offered any!

  5. Reply
    Tom   //   August 24th, 2009 at 12:08

    England win the Ashes and Australia plunge to 4th in the world Test rankings. Ouch!

    But England need to build on this – not do what we did in 2005 and treat it as an end in itself.

    Ultimately though, sustained success can only be achieved by the ECB and the counties dusting off those “Reform English cricket” reports and making some serious changes to the domestic set-up. Unless they do this – 2009 may be a joyful but fleeting experience.

    Now – where’s my champaign?

  6. Reply
    Bert   //   August 24th, 2009 at 12:14

    Come on, KC! Get on with it! I’m sat here fit to explode, with gloat building up inside me. I need a release, and you’re the man to provide it.

  7. Reply
    Ceci   //   August 24th, 2009 at 12:25

    …and while you’re at it with the gloating can you give miserable Aussie Steve a damn good thrashing?

  8. Reply
    christopher poshin david   //   August 24th, 2009 at 12:33

    Now I bet England will miserably lose the ODI series but who cares abt that??? Wat a match……Better yet WAT A FINISH!!!!

  9. Reply
    GED   //   August 24th, 2009 at 14:18

    Why just one week of gloating, KC?

  10. Reply
    Mahinda   //   August 25th, 2009 at 12:24

    Unfortunately, I see this as a bit of a watershed, with India and the dirty Saffers soon to be confirmed as the dominant forces in cricket, with SL, England and Australia snapping at their heels.

    ‘Til then though, I’ll enjoy the sunshine. Both metaphorical and actual, for a change.

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