All is not right with the world. England are dominating another side at one-day cricket. Wins are expected and are being delivered.
We are in equal parts delighted and utterly horrified that some fundamental element of existence has been reversed. It’s as if gravity were making objects roar skyward or as if well-balanced high achievers were deserving of friendship.
As a dyed-in-the-wool pessimist, we’re not going to really start believing in this England one-day team until they’ve done something against a second opponent. One nation isn’t a particularly large sample size and the players from that one nation quite blatantly don’t know why they’re here.
However, what has impressed us is that England have minced opponents who aren’t much up for it. That’s exactly the kind of ‘never take our foot of their throat’ attitutude that England always, always talk about and never ever produce.
For all that we’re unconvinced, that fact combined with the style with which they’ve been playing adds up to quite a lot in our book – and our book’s entitled: ‘You call that glass half empty? It’s a small half at best and what there is probably tastes disgusting – and if it isn’t disgusting it’ll probably poison us anyway.’