8

Flintoff to Kallis

Bowled on 31st July, 2008 at 20:59 by King Cricket
Category: Andrew Flintoff, Jacques Kallis

It was probably the least painful outcome, Jacques

We don’t know about you, but we’re glad Aleem Dar turned down that blatantly out lbw appeal against Kallis. What followed was as electric as that innocuous-looking, ankle-high, three-holed square of plastic in the corner there.

It was proper fast bowling; the kind you just don’t get in the shorter formats; the kind that only comes about when the bowler v batsman duel suddenly becomes personal and that bowler can do whatever he bloody well wants.

It actually wasn’t a supremely quick spell of bowling in the literal sense – high eighties maybe – but watch it: it was fast bowling. It was the kind of bowling that seems so much faster and more intimidating because the bowler’s so unbelievably pissed off.

This was no less a batsman than Jacques Kallis too – easily one of the best Test batsmen in the world and most definitely someone who doesn’t surrender his wicket easily. He’d actually got himself in as well. He’d just passed 50.

Even before the non-dismissal Flintoff was firing. Yorker, bouncer, bouncer, no run, yorker onto the boot… Not out.

At this point Andrew Flintoff summoned down the angel of pure bilious rage and punched his lights out, stole his bag of rage and put it to use.

For some reason, Jacques Kallis opted to take a single off the last ball of the next over, bowled by Monty Panesar. The idiot.

Bouncer, left alone, beaten outside off.

And then it ended the only way these things can ever satisfactorily end: with a stump being plucked from its earthy home and sent barrelling along towards the wicketkeeper.

We heartily recommend WG Grace Ate My Pedalo by Alan Tyers

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  1. Reply
    SixSixEight   //   July 31st, 2008 at 21:47

    England play real cricket รขโ‚ฌโ€œ Shock!

  2. Reply
    Suave   //   July 31st, 2008 at 21:58

    Nice work Sire..
    If you take a trip to my little home, you’ll find the fail you requested!

    It was a stunning display. Fuck being at that end. I bet Ashwell Prince was praying Kallis didn’t get a single.

  3. Reply
    Ceci   //   July 31st, 2008 at 23:07

    Fred roaring and trumpetting around as Kallis trudged off made the rest of the England team look like a load of big girls’ blouses

  4. Reply
    Ed   //   July 31st, 2008 at 23:31

    Just imagine an in form Harmison at t’other end – It would have been a sight to behold.

    I don’t care if Harmy is a cross between a guinea pig and an electronic tie organiser – he’s our guinea pig and electronic tie organiser so let’s have him back for the Oval.

  5. Reply
    SixSixEight   //   August 1st, 2008 at 00:03

    Leave him alone – he’s got to find his inner leopard!

  6. Reply
    A P Webster   //   August 1st, 2008 at 08:50

    Classic stuff from Freddie. Could this be the start of the comeback? I mean for Flintoff obviously, England are screwed.

  7. Reply
    Soviet Onion   //   August 1st, 2008 at 10:17

    I would not be surprised, if Boucher and Prince hang around for ages, Vaughan over bowls Fred, who carries on charging in, then feels a slight pull somewhere in his body, and is out till his much anticipated comeback next summer, when he takes 3-72 against S.Lanka.

  8. Reply
    Cricket Equipment   //   June 19th, 2009 at 18:03

    A classic encounter!!

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