Glen Chapple might be superhuman
1992. It was the year that Jimmy Nail would top the charts with Ain’t No Doubt. It was also the year that Glen Chapple made his debut for Lancashire.
While the halcyon days of Spender and Crocodile Shoes are gone for Nail, Chapple soldiers on. He’s 37 now, but seems increasingly impervious to both age and physical ailments, hobbling off the field one minute, storming in off his full run the next. His solitary cap, against Ireland, was cut short when he got injured in the field. You wonder why he didn’t play on. He normally does.
This year Glen Chapple delivered the County Championship to Old Trafford – something that could only have been achieved by a man with little regard for whether things are or aren’t possible. Shitter players than him have won more England caps, but they haven’t captained Lancashire to glory, so Glen wins.
Some of you might have Chapple down as a journeyman. He isn’t. He’s the man who takes the wickets when his county needs them and he frequently scores the runs that matter too (never those that don’t).
County cricket is an almighty slog, but here are Chapple’s bowling figures for the last few seasons.
- 2007 – 47 wickets at 21.85
- 2008 – 42 wickets at 20.50
- 2009 – 35 wickets at 25.25
- 2010 – 52 wickets at 19.75
- 2011 – 55 wickets at 19.81
Sometimes his team was poor; sometimes it was okay. Only this year was it good. Chapple got wickets regardless. Chapple ALWAYS gets wickets. No half-arsed second division wickets either – those were all proper first division dismissals.
We just wanted to laud a very good cricketer at an opportune time. However, we will write posts about every other member of the Lancashire squad, unless someone comes up with a superhero name for Glen Chapple that meets with our approval.
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Oh look, another Lancashire post.
No, this is very much a Glen Chapple post.
Also, from your lack of superhero name suggestions we infer that you wish to see Kyle Hogg similarly lauded tomorrow.
Don’t take it personally, Sam. If Warwickshire had won the title [snnmmff, sorry], I’m quite sure [chuckle] that the King would have done [hoo-hoo-hoo] a series of similar articles about them [bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hoo-hoo-stop-it-stop-it].
Putting Glen Chapple’s name into the superhero name generator comes out with Galactic Boy. I think that’s a bit rubbish though.
And I definitely want to see Kyle Hogg lauded tomorrow, and then Karl Brown on Wednesday please.
Ginger man.
Done.
Superhero names that meet with our approval.
I said Freckly Ginger Smurf earlier, so I must win a prize.
If you don’t think that Smurfs are superhero-y enough, you are wrong.
I know next to nothing about Glen Chapple. But he seems like the kind of person who wouldn’t mind being named after a food. This insight, combined with a previous post of yours, makes “Throdkinator” a no-brainer.
That meets with our approval.
How about Greg Chappell? Wait, you wanted a superhero name.
Here’s a Superhero name for him:
Not-The-Future-of-Lancashire-Cricket-Club Man
I was inspired to come up with this name when I found the following comment, made by someone sometime ago:
“We have no idea where we stand on Glen Chapple and Dominic Cork. Chapple’s 33. Cork’s 35. Neither are the future of Lancashire cricket club. Neither has the pace they once had either and we despise fast-medium swing bowlers in county cricket – purely because there are so many of them. It gets a bit boring. Chapple and Cork take up two slots in the bowling attack, so younger bowlers like Saj Mahmood, Tom Smith and Kyle Hogg don’t get the opportunities they might.”
Well spotted, Bert. The biggest disappointment in this saga-of-wavering-opinions-by-a-writer-that-shall-not-be-named is the fact that I, a person who has never watched county cricket nor know the names of county cricketers, spent upwards of five minutes coming up with a superhero name.
I don’t know how I can trust people anymore.
We did firm up that position later
“We always moan about Lancashire’s ageing medium-pace all-rounders, but the truth is we’ve nothing against either Chapple or Dominic Cork. It’s just that having both of them clogs the side for younger players a bit.”
Don’t worry, KC. Such has been the outpouring of joy and happiness at Lancashire’s County Championship win that a general amnesty has been declared for all such comments. All in the past and forgotten now. In fact, the amnesty goes well beyond having a confused opinion on a blog site, extending even as far as war crimes and genocide. Everyone will be happy in this brave new world. It is a requirement.
How about the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
How about the Nick Knight from Monty Panesar and the Gareth Bale?
How about Yorkshire Man?
Everyone knows the real reason Lankyshire won the title was because they didn’t play a single county game at Old Trafford.
Tarted up ground = another 77 years in the wilderness.
Chapple will still be there probably though.
From Rob Steen on Cricinfo:
“They call him Boris, apparently, presumably because he’s the dead spit of Becker (of tennis fame and bonking repute).”
http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/533147.html
Just read Vic Marks’ Guardian County Cricket awards – and he calls Chapple “The Magnificent Hobbler”