What is the greatest mark of quality for any given one-day international? We’ve always thought that if a game features four wicketkeepers, that’s a pretty good sign. During the seventh one-day international between Australia and England, that dream was finally realised.
In many ways, this match represented a high water mark for one-day cricket. Due to resting, ripped tendons, rotation, retirement and rigor mortis, neither team was anywhere close to featuring the best 11 cricketers from that nation. Rigor mortis might be pushing it, although it has to be said that Arthur Dolphin wouldn’t have wasted a whole six balls making a duck like Steven Davies did.
The recruitment policy for both teams was akin to that of Jon Favreau’s character in My Name is Earl when he’s looking for fast food staff:
“Got all your fingers? Do they bend? I’ve been fooled before.”
The match also had the timeless quality of being a dead, already-decomposing match in a series long since won by Australia that was played out in front of a largely indifferent crowd a week or so before a World Cup in which most of the players on show won’t be featuring.