10

IPL teams in 2009

Bowled on 25th March, 2009 at 08:11 by King Cricket
Category: IPL

Bangalore Royal Challengers

What’s their ‘thing’?
Bought loads of stonewallers, like Jacques Kallis, Rahul Dravid and Shivnarine Chanderpaul and promptly finished second to last in 2008.

New players
Wisely added Robin Uthappa, Kevin Pietersen and Jesse Ryder to their obdurate batting roster.

Chennai Super Kings

What’s their ‘thing’?
Second stupidest name. Either ‘kings’ weren’t supreme enough or it’s a reference to a certain grade of cement hawked by the owner. Both are good reasons.

New players
Bought Andrew Flintoff for three small fortunes.

Delhi Daredevils

What’s their ‘thing’?
Having Mohammad Asif banned for drug taking. Virender Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir open.

New players
Rucks. David Warner, Australia’s sloggy new opener. Andrew ‘Ronald’ McDonald, Australia’s boring new all-rounder who should really spend more time indoors with his complexion. Forgotten man, Ashish Nehra. As well as England’s Owais Shah and Paul Collingwood.

Deccan Chargers

What’s their ‘thing’?
Shahid Afridi slagged off VVS Laxman’s captaincy and said Adam Gilchrist should take over. The owners promptly gave Afridi the boot, before adding: “Also, Adam Gilchrist is the new captain” – something they forgot to mention to Laxman. Charged their way to last place in 2008.

New players
West Indians, Fidel Edwards and Dwayne Smith.

Kolkata Knight Riders

What’s their ‘thing’?
Got to be the ludicrous name, hasn’t it?

New players
Bangladesh’s Mashrafe Mortaza.

Kings XI Punjab

What’s their ‘thing’?
Being a team of 11 equal-billing kings, like some sort of communist monarchy. They’re also ‘our’ team (in the loosest possible sense).

New players
Ravi Bopara and also ‘Burt Cockley’ who we’re going to go and find out more about, right this minute.

Mumbai Indians

What’s their ‘thing’?
Harbhajan Singh slapped his India team mate, Sreesanth. Sreesanth had a cry.

New players
JP Duminy and Kyle Mills.

Rajasthan Royals

What’s their ‘thing’?
Being the cheapskate team that won the IPL in 2008 with Shane Warne leading the way.

New players
Tyron Henderson

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  1. Reply
    shakester   //   March 25th, 2009 at 09:30

    heh.

    Actually, ‘Super’ in the Kings name is very apt- the word is used in all kinds of ways colloquially in Tamil Nadu state (of which Chennai is the captial)- from real to the hilarious.

  2. Reply
    John   //   March 25th, 2009 at 10:01

    Actually both Sree and HArbhajan belong to the Kings XI.

  3. Reply
    miriam   //   March 25th, 2009 at 10:15

    Burt Cockley! No way is that the real name of a cricketer! Surely he is in fact one of the following:

    - an elderly uncle
    - a real ale enthusiast
    - a morris dancer
    - a folk singer
    - a fisherman
    - an East End publican

  4. Reply
    Bert   //   March 25th, 2009 at 10:16

    And your point is, Miriam?

  5. Reply
    Amy   //   March 25th, 2009 at 10:16

    So ’super’ is used as a prefix, even? That’s an interesting development. I think I might use it myself. Can’t let the absolute monarchists have all the fun.

  6. Reply
    miriam   //   March 25th, 2009 at 10:31

    Sorry Bert, are you a Cockley as well?

  7. Reply
    Bert   //   March 25th, 2009 at 10:41

    Would that I were, Miriam. Would that I were…

  8. Reply
    King Cricket   //   March 25th, 2009 at 11:17

    John, Sree does, but Harbhajan plays for (and for a time captained) Mumbai Indians.

    What we wrote was misleading though – we meant they were India team mates.

  9. Reply
    A P Webster   //   March 25th, 2009 at 12:52

    Is the fact that this ‘preview’ thins out considerably towards the last couple of teams a subtle comment on the way the IPL’s novelty is wearing off, or is it just that there’s not much interesting to say about the Mumbai Indians or Rajasthan Royals?

  10. Reply
    King Cricket   //   March 25th, 2009 at 13:49

    It’s not exactly chock full of content up top either.

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