7

Mike Hussey and Michael Clarke do that Australian thing

Bowled on 9th November, 2007 at 10:57 by King Cricket
Category: Australia cricket news, Michael Clarke, Mike Hussey, Sri Lanka

How come opposition batsmen always get two innings? It's not fairYes, they stand on the beach, hurling a boomerang round a bemused kangaroo with Men At Work blaring out in the background, all the while continually telling you how rubbish everything is in England.

No, it’s the other thing, grinding cricket opponents into miserable submission.

242-3 overnight becomes 551-4 declared with all the long, insufferable predictability of a typical day at work. ‘Maybe if we could get Mike Hussey or Michael Clarke out we could have some success against the new batsman,’ you think. But you NEVER get them out, so you just end up thinking that all day.

Actually, Mike Hussey was eventually out, but all this means is that Andrew Symonds comes in and wallops a quick fifty with a big goofy grin on his face.

Then you have to bat and you’re so deflated after nigh-on two days with barely a wicket that you just can’t concentrate. So even ordinarily-profligate Brett Lee can wind up with figures of 2-4 off five overs.

It’s no fun playing against Australia. We’re not even sure it’s that much fun playing FOR Australia. You’re winning, but it’s almost drudgery.

We are still a bit mental about slow cookers but think we can get the meat to come out "stickier"

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  1. Reply
    Uncle J rod   //   November 9th, 2007 at 14:15

    Symonds goofy grin, are you comparing him to a monkey, that sounds racist to me.

    Ofcourse if you are saying his grin is goofy because he is from Queensland, i concur.

  2. Reply
    matt b   //   November 9th, 2007 at 14:31

    Or goofy, because he’s from Birmingham: that would be worse than racism

  3. Reply
    King Cricket   //   November 9th, 2007 at 14:37

    We’re saying that Andrew Symonds has a goof grin because he’s Andrew Symonds and his grin is goofy.

    We’re being Andrew Symonds-ist.

    Birmingham AND Queensland. Poor Andrew Symonds. He never had a chance.

  4. Reply
    Alyssa Keserra   //   November 9th, 2007 at 14:53

    Wait! Did you call Brett Lee profligate? I find myself mortally offended on his behalf and slightly bemused on my own.

    It appears that the nerves I get when he bowls at England are quite the unnecessary use of energy.
    I shall have to work on remedying the thought process rather than eat more to counter the expenditure of energy.

  5. Reply
    Aaron Heath   //   November 9th, 2007 at 19:48

    oh believe me it’s fun watching australia win!!

  6. Reply
    Uncle J rod   //   November 10th, 2007 at 02:11

    profligate is a hindi word, meaning one of blonde hair who can’t sing.

    I’m assuming.

  7. Reply
    Abhishek   //   November 10th, 2007 at 23:32

    In Hindi, you could also say “gore baalon waala besuraa…” :)

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