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Not long now for the County Championship

Bowled on 11th September, 2011 at 10:13 by
Category: County cricket news

Knocked off its ruddy axis

The County Championship will end this week, just so long as the world hasn’t ended before then. The excitement is ripping our reality apart at the seams.

When we got up this morning, we weren’t at all surprised to find that our jumper had fallen off the back of a chair and onto the floor. Combine increasing numbers of invaders from the spirit world with Simon Kerrigan taking 9-51 for Lancashire, winning the match against Hampshire with just four minutes to go, and it was inevitable that the world would be knocked off its axis.

This time the world was knocked off its axis such that a jumper fell off the back of a chair. How bad will it be next time?

We are still a bit mental about slow cookers but think we can get the meat to come out "stickier"

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  1. Reply
    BarfordSimon   //   September 11th, 2011 at 10:24

    I’m really struggling to get my head around the enormity of this. Could you describe the jumper?

    • King Cricket   //   September 11th, 2011 at 10:26

      Black.

    • BarfordSimon   //   September 11th, 2011 at 10:29

      Ok thanks. I’ve got it now.

  2. Reply
    mark cripps   //   September 11th, 2011 at 12:11

    What irritates me is that right at the end of the season, the media (other than the Internet) starts covering it, as if they have been doing so all season.

    It’s a sad reflection on the LVCC’s real interest level to the nation other than hard core cricket fans.

    PS If the jumper is black, can we take it that like the England Rugby Union team, this sweater is an example of the England Cricket team’s new ALL BLACK strip?

    • King Cricket   //   September 11th, 2011 at 12:18

      It is just a plain black jumper.

      The England rugby team is the only thing keeping the world on its axis, judging by yesterday’s performance.

  3. Reply
    bradders   //   September 11th, 2011 at 13:37

    Just a thought here KC, Moores is quoted on cricinfo today calling Kerrigan international class. What does that make Keedy? The best spinner never to play for England?

    Can you as a Lancashire man enlighten me?

    • King Cricket   //   September 11th, 2011 at 13:58

      It is an odd assessment, isn’t it?

      The reason Keedy’s first choice is that Kerrigan’s a little bit of an unknown quantity. It’ll be different next year – Keedy seems set to sign for Warwickshire.

    • King Cricket   //   September 11th, 2011 at 13:59

      And Keedy is the best current spinner never to play for England.

  4. Reply
    Ged   //   September 11th, 2011 at 19:10

    Daisy and I have just returned from Lord’s and can confirm that we all need a little bit more of the sort of exciting conclusion we have just seen.

    In other words…

    …more ties.

  5. Reply
    jimmy   //   September 11th, 2011 at 19:57

    I’ve never felt jumpier than I do now

  6. Reply
    sam   //   September 11th, 2011 at 21:52

    Ged – did it take you the entire journey home to think of that one?
    And when you got home did you come on King Cricket before doing anything else?

    • Deep Cower   //   September 12th, 2011 at 01:21

      This is going to leave a mark. Ged deserves better.

    • Ged   //   September 12th, 2011 at 08:01

      **ALERT – PEOPLE OF A NERVOUS DISPOSITION SHOULD NOT READ THIS POSTING – ALERT**

      We spent most of the journey home in ignorance of the result, actually, sam.

      Once we had the result confirmed, we spent the rest of the journey home discussing the relative justice of said result.

      The first thing I did when I got home was to remove my rain-dampened garments. During that process, inspiration struck.

      The next thing I did, naturally, was to go straight to King Cricket and upload my thoughts.

      I hope the mental image is not too much for you sam. But you did ask.

    • daneel   //   September 12th, 2011 at 19:50

      Could be worse, Ged. You could have had the urge to go outside after removing your wet clothes…

      http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2011/09/confused-naked-lady-caught-on-google-street-view-yeah-nsfw/

  7. Reply
    Ged   //   September 12th, 2011 at 08:06

    In todays other news, I have just heard someone knocking on the door of one of the other flats in this house, clearly desperate to get in and unable to convince the occupant to take mercy on her.

    I should imagine that there will be many more incidents of this kind this week, as those with Sky Sports subscriptions are bombarded with requests from friends and associates for a seat on the sofa and a peak at the County Championship broadcast.

    As I type, the knocking and calling out of the occupants name is getting loader.

    It’s going to be a long four days.

    • Ged   //   September 12th, 2011 at 08:06

      louder, even.

  8. Reply
    Bert   //   September 12th, 2011 at 11:56

    And they’re off, and it’s Lancashire who are first out of the traps this morning – Somerset literally wilting under the onslaught of Chapple and Smith. Meanwhile Warwickshire are literally being torn assunder by James Tomlinson, who has a wicket. Outsiders Durham are intent on maintaining that status, having been literally ground up into small pieces and fed to the lions with the loss of that wicket.

    Current prediction – Lancashire 24 points, Warwickshire 2 points, Durham 1 point, Paul Allot moved to the Weston-super-Mare area.

    • Bert   //   September 12th, 2011 at 12:45

      Wickets are tumbling at Taunton – that’s three now. And Lancs haven’t yet unleashed the Kerriganator (except for three unsuccessful overs for 12).

  9. Reply
    stuart   //   September 12th, 2011 at 12:58

    Warks have racked up 18 extras in 23 overs. They are literally kicking the ball repeatedly to the boundary. If they bat for 100 overs, at this rate they’ll have about 75 extras. That’s a lot of extras.

  10. Reply
    Bert   //   September 12th, 2011 at 13:15

    Allott-cam has a brief clip of him discussing having “a pint or two of the LOCAL cider this evening”, so I think we can be sure that he’ll be staying in the Somerset area overnight. Looking at the lunchtime scores, this seems a fair decision. Mathematically speaking the championship outcome isn’t a done deal just yet, but I think he’ll be checking in for a few nights at least.

  11. Reply
    Bert   //   September 12th, 2011 at 13:18

    By the way, KC. As a top-ace journalist, will you be going to the main party in the centre of Manchester for the celebrations, or just one of the local street parties?

    • King Cricket   //   September 12th, 2011 at 13:31

      Not sure. Bit worried that the city centre celebrations could get out of hand. We can just see hordes of youths in Luke Proctor shirts getting totally carried away, not knowing their limits. There could be a few fights.

      Or do you think the overwhelming sense of mass bonhomie will keep everyone the right side of the line?

  12. Reply
    sam   //   September 12th, 2011 at 16:38

    Birmingham has some top nightclubs, but I would imagine they will be all-ticket this weekend. It’s going to be mental.

    • daneel   //   September 12th, 2011 at 19:53

      Birmingham isn’t even in Warwickshire. Mental!

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