Out of the Ashes DVD winners 6-10

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Here are the other winning entries to the Out of the Ashes DVD competition. Everyone else who wants a copy will have to pay money for a copy.

We asked people to name a non-Test playing nation and say how they’d get them to the 2015 World Cup.

Sarah, Canterbury | France

By pink plane.

Tom | Italy

Despite being part-timers, there’d be no issues with getting time off work due to the level of incompetence involved with any Italian establishment – “eh, eh, eh, Mario, you toucha my daughter I slappa your face-a” etc. – and I’m sure if they didn’t qualify on cricketing ability, they could cook up a mean red wine risotto to convince the ICC.

Phil | Mexico

I would use Top Gear to get Mexico to the World Cup. Balls disguised as Richard Hammond’s tiny head would inspire batsmen to hit boundary after boundary while stumps made to resemble Jeremy Clarkson bending over would give bowlers that crucial ‘extra yard of pace’ that comes through sheer rage.

GT | Germany

By encouraging an invasion of Holland by pointing out to the Germans that Dutch immigrants have taken a lot of their jobs, they speak funny and that they aren’t very efficient. The new Deutsche team could then expect a minimum of World Cup quarter final qualification and years of beating England.

David | Germany

Motivate the team with talk of how easy it is to beat England in a World Cup, assure them there isn’t a Brazilian cricket team, play for a tie to ensure a bowl-off and guarantee fervent support by placing deckchairs round the boundary edge the night before matches.

DON'T BE LIKE GATT!

Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.

Coincidence?

Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?

5 comments

  1. Re: Germany
    We do actually have a cricket team, it got to promoted to WCL 7 last year and is thus more likely to take part in a World Cup than the Bahamas from Pt. 1 of this post. Of course the vast majority of the players originates from subcontinental countries, I’m fairly sure they don’t give a rat’s arse about Holland, Brazil, England, or anything else football or WW II -related. As long as we beat France… ^^

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