Retirement – when the time comes, you just know

That’s what cricketers always say, as if they received some mystical message from the cosmos informing them it was ‘time’.

Ryan Harris has retired because he’s broken his leg by bowling with a knee devoid of cartilage. You might therefore think it was ‘time’ slightly before now, but apparently not.

Harris himself implied that he took the hint after getting a medical opinion.

“My surgeon David Young, he didn’t say in as many words that I should retire but he said it was going to be very hard.”

However, the key element here is actually the term ‘my surgeon’. Professional sportsmen should not have surgeons.

‘My postman’ makes sense in that it is a service from which you regularly benefit. ‘My barber’ works for the same reason. If you are undergoing surgery frequently enough that the person undertaking the work is basically kept on retainer, you should be in a hospital, not a sports ground.

Harris then gave an insight into the self-destructive tendencies that have allowed his body to reach this point.

“I nearly blew my head up yesterday thinking there’s got to be a way I can get past this again.”

Quite what cranial detonation would have achieved is anyone’s guess, but you can only give him full marks for his commitment to playing Test cricket.

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9 Appeals

  1. ‘My dealer’ also works for the same reason.

    • You know, if you’re into collecting art and stuff.

    • lol

      – as for the retiree… poor bugger will be lucky if he can even walk on that knee for too much longer i should think. he has seriously pounded it to the point where it’s effectively three or four times as old as the rest of him 🙁

      so a sad (in inevitable) end to a very strong performer’s career, but still good news for england, i’m (nearly) convinced…

  2. I guess the average age of the Australian team got a little lower, anyway.

    I can think of other players in this squad whose career I’d enjoy seeing end, though. Hopefully, not too long to wait.

    Harris was too damn good, but didn’t seem actively unpleasant (and his dad’s from Leicester).

  3. Speaking of retirement, it is nothing if not accompanied by a dose of hypocrisy.

    Kumar Sagakkara in his famous Spirit of Cricket lecture: “My loyalty will be to the ordinary Sri Lankan fan … they are my foundation, they are my family. I will play my cricket for them. Their spirit is the true spirit of cricket …”–u4U&CMP=EMCSPTEML942

    And how does one demonstrate this loyalty ? By “retiring” for 1 test, head over to England for spot of Cricket(playing), top it up by spot of Tennis(watching), before heading back to “unretire” for a further 2 or more tests.

  4. Did anyone else catch David Warner trying to justify his attempt to belt Joe Root?
    We already knew it was over beard based wig abuse but this line caught my attention:
    “A mate of mine was actually wearing it on top of his head like a (Lasith) Malinga wig, that’s what it was,”
    So it seems to me his argument went along the lines of: making fun of Malinga’s hair is just old fashioned racism and completely legitimate. But what Root did was religious vilification so Davey had to belt him for it.

  5. Fair to say that Ryan Sidebottom got his retirement timing wrong?

    (In before Betteridge.)

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