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Sachin Tendulkar finds something he hasn’t done and does it

Bowled on 3rd March, 2008 at 09:51 by King Cricket
Category: Australia cricket news, India cricket news, Sachin Tendulkar

Sachin Tendulkar - deserves better than to have his updates strewn with nadsNamely, score a one-day international hundred in Australia.

Rohit Sharma may have played a major part, but he merely provided able and precocious support to the main man. It might be about the fifth time we’ve written this, but it doesn’t get any less true: Sachin Tendulkar is THE BALLS.

You don’t get any leeway once you’re over 30. If you’re coming back from an injury or in a patch of poor form then you’ve ‘had it’ – your eyes are going, the hunger’s gone, the body’s letting you down.

Clearly absolute testicles. Sachin Tendulkar has averaged 62.73 in 22 Test matches since the start of 2007, hitting four hundreds. In the same period in one-day internationals, he’s averaged 45.60.

He’s played swing in England, bounce in Australia and countered insane expectation against Pakistan. He’s been plodding and cautious. He’s been ferociously dynamic.

If Sachin Tendulkar’s had it, then the moon’s a giant gonad. (Three separate references to testicles – a new career best.)

We heartily recommend WG Grace Ate My Pedalo by Alan Tyers

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  1. Reply
    Suave   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 11:03

    Huzzah for Sachin the wonder horse!

    He’s so eminently likeable too.

    His repsonse to Brett Lee beaming him, was to say (i’m paraphrasing here), “no problem, I know he didn’t mean it. Anyway he’ll have my son to answer to, when he comes to India”.

    I think you’ll find that the moon is “an alabaster retard”

  2. Reply
    scorpicity   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 11:40

    He continues to simply amaze… and still have his foot on the ground.

  3. Reply
    straight points   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 13:03

    if only others takes clue cricket can still be battle between bat and ball…

  4. Reply
    Taylor   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 13:23

    Sachin Tendulkar can kill you with a thought. Twice.

  5. Reply
    King Cricket   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 13:24

    His behaviour puts that of some of his team mates and opponents to shame.

    People say things like ‘he let his bat do the talking’ all the time and usually it’s meaningless, but after that Lee beamer, Tendulkar just turned away and kept completely calm.

    He’s a man who KNOWS he’s better than that. His superiority is allied to humility, rather than arrogance.

  6. Reply
    the scientician   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 14:26

    Guns don’t kill people. Sachin Tendulkar kills People.

    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Sachin Tendulkar allows to live.

    Sachin Tendulkar does not sleep. He waits

    and so on and so forth til your brain melts with the utter, utter pointlessness of it all.

  7. Reply
    Somlucci   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 16:40

    Sachin Tendulkar sleeps with a pillow under his bat

  8. Reply
    Dada   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 16:45

    I think Sachins waiting til his son turns 16 to retire. That way the cricketing world will have an adequate successor ready to step in. He’s just that considerate.

  9. Reply
    Ceci   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 18:34

    Think Lee and Tendulkar are the only Aus bowler/Indian batsman who could have been involved in that beamer incident without causing an international incident – the only other possible candidate being Dhoni – possibly…

  10. Reply
    Dave   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 21:15

    And Robin Uthappa, perhaps. He’s so laid back he might as well bat in sunglasses, shorts and sandles.

    I’m getting a bit disturbed by Brett Lee, though. He’s Australian and I want to hate him, but I just can’t bring myself to.

  11. Reply
    Ceci   //   March 3rd, 2008 at 21:58

    The Lee thing is quite tragic Dave. Even when he did his Hindi thing I forgave him. When Gilchrist goes he will be the only one in the way of a team of absolute topnotch fatheads.

  12. Reply
    Avik   //   March 4th, 2008 at 04:33

    Damn correct about Lee. Tough to hate him.

    One more thing out of the topic. Did you guys see Harbhajan’s mock-boxing with Yuvi, after getting rid of Hayden.

    Any comment???

  13. Reply
    Martyd   //   March 4th, 2008 at 08:37

    It takes balls to say what needsto be said!

  14. Reply
    Prince   //   March 9th, 2008 at 20:08

    Yeh Avik. The only one comment I have is that Bhajji tightened his grip over that ugly fuck Symonds once again real hard. And Symonds felt it real hard. So hard, he couldn’t even open his big mouth he’s so accustomed to putting his foot in all the time.

  15. Reply
    Taylor   //   March 18th, 2008 at 11:16

    Might I make a case for the upgrade of Sachin Tendulkar in King Cricket’s Top Ten?

  16. Reply
    King Cricket   //   March 18th, 2008 at 11:42

    You might, but the King Cricket Top Ten’s been neglected for some time now.

    Is it worth resurrecting?

  17. Reply
    Taylor   //   March 18th, 2008 at 11:57

    That’s for you to decide, isn’t it? ;)

    I rate him above Lara, but then again, that’s just my opinion. Just wanted to know if you feel he deserves a higher place than number four on the list, that’s all.

  18. Reply
    King Cricket   //   March 18th, 2008 at 12:08

    Well the list was originally only supposed to include players who hadn’t yet retired, so there’s a bit of a clear-out to be had there.

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