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Simon Jones mops up the tail

Bowled on 30th June, 2008 at 09:30 by King Cricket
Category: County cricket news, Simon Jones

Simon Jones - still intact!Give Simon Jones a mop and present him with a flexible rear appendage and he will GET TO WORK.

Jones took 5-30 against Leicestershire yesterday, clean bowling eight, nine and ten to finish the innings. It’s not the first time this season he’s bulked up the wickets column by polishing off tail-enders, but the overall impression we’re getting is still of a bowler clefting county cricket in twain.

That’s right. You heard. Clefting county cricket in twain.

This film features marines using the bannister when they go down some stairs. What more could you want?

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  1. Reply
    Ceci   //   June 30th, 2008 at 10:21

    Damn you King Cricket! Am WORKING this am but took a quick glancette at your offering – “Simon Jones… rear…” Reverie alert! Work abandoned!

  2. Reply
    Suave   //   June 30th, 2008 at 10:39

    What on earth does that mean, you northern monkey?

    Clefting county cricket in twain.

  3. Reply
    Jrod   //   June 30th, 2008 at 12:10

    Simon Jones is a good player, but reading TWC i think he needs a bit more confidence in his ability.

  4. Reply
    SimonC   //   June 30th, 2008 at 12:16

    TWAIN is an image communications API (standing for “Technology Without An Interesting Name”*). When they gave him bionic knees, Simon Jones was clearly fitted with a standard digital camera interface, the port for which is presumably located in some convenient cleft.

    I’m not quite sure how country cricket fits in to all this but we must assume King Cricket knows what he’s doing.

    *This is entirely true, by the way.

  5. Reply
    Mahinda   //   June 30th, 2008 at 13:23

    In other news, B.U.S. has just clubbed a 55-ball OD century, albeit against lowly Bangladesh. It’s his 39th birthday though, so perhaps they’re just being nice?

  6. Reply
    Miriam   //   June 30th, 2008 at 13:55

    Ooh, happy birthday B.U.S! I would have liked him to have hit a 39-ball century though. Then next year he can hit a 40-ball century. That’s the kind of decline I’m prepared to accept, when it comes to B.U.S.

  7. Reply
    Soviet Onion   //   June 30th, 2008 at 17:18

    Was in Sri Lanka recently, and i read that the Sri Lankan team wanted to drop him! And the minister of sport amended the Asia cup squad and made sure he was selected. Why would you ever want to drop him??

  8. Reply
    Mahinda   //   June 30th, 2008 at 17:44

    His form against the better teams has been pretty patchy of late, and SL desperately needed to give some of the younger openers some experience. At the moment, with Mahela in pretty poor ODI form, if you stop Sanath and Sanga, you win.

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