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The ‘mighty mighty’ England

Bowled on 7th March, 2008 at 10:12 by King Cricket
Category: England cricket news, New Zealand

Yesterday's picture today - if boring's de rigueur right now...Well we’d probably only have a go if England’s batsmen had got themselves out playing aggressively – let’s say that. We’d have bemoaned their lack of application and their inability to read a pitch and react accordingly. We’d have wondered where the old-fashioned virtue of patience had gone.

We are wondering where that most modern of virtues has gone, however – that of ‘intent’. Remember when England were all out for a borderline reckless 407 inside a day at Edgbaston in 2005? Seems a long time ago, doesn’t it?

Several players’ stocks have risen during this game, however: Marcus Trescothick, Andrew Flintoff and Simon Jones. Simon Jones’ stock is now the most valuable commodity in the world. As each day passes, he gets to be a better and better bowler. If England can slump to the bottom of the ICC’s Test rankings then he might start being considered the equal of Dennis Lillee, Malcolm Marshall et al.

England’s current heartfelt commitment to mediocrity is highlighted by all the scores of about 40. What are we supposed to do with that? No-one’s stopped to consider us in all of this.

New Zealand v England, first Test at Hamilton – day three
New Zealand 470 (Ross Taylor 120, Jamie How 92, Daniel Vettori 88, Brendon McCullum 51, Ryan Sidebottom 4-90)
England 286-6 (Michael Vaughan 63)

We heartily recommend WG Grace Ate My Pedalo by Alan Tyers

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  1. Reply
    Suave   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:09

    How dare they forget you, in all of this.

    Utter fuckers,

    Burn them all, like the warlocks they are, I say.

  2. Reply
    Miriam   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:14

    The mighty England lions are definitely roaring like pumas at the moment.

  3. Reply
    Suave   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:24

    Nice Mims,

    And to think your memory is that good after a night of what the govenment calls “binge drinking”

  4. Reply
    Lee   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:25

    you’re right about Jones though. People tend to forget that sx months before the Ashes he was dropped for Jimmy Anderson. JIMMY ANDERSON!

  5. Reply
    Miriam   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:27

    I’m a bit of a memory-witch.

    What the government calls “binge drinking” I and my friends call a pre-dinner snifter.

  6. Reply
    King Cricket   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:35

    Lee, we wonder whether Jones merely had the best-timed purple patch and whether there’s been no opportunity to show it up as just that.

    Some purple patch though. Deep purple, perhaps…

  7. Reply
    Ceci Masters   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:42

    I am a late-comer to cricket and wot not of the Ashes so have no expectations of us being anything other than we are.

    I haven’t seen Simon Jones bowl but I have seen his picture in Cosmo and can only assume therefore that he is a Good Thing.

  8. Reply
    Suave   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:44

    Jones is a phenomenon.

    http://blogs.cricinfo.com/itfigures/archives/2008/02/the_most_consistent_test_bowle.php

    That’s what you call a go-to bowler.

    It’s pre-dinner snifters all weekend for me then, as I shall be celebrating 32 years on this green and pleasant land

  9. Reply
    Miriam   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:51

    Ah yes – happy birthday for tomorrow. For your present, you can choose between (1) another 2 days of playing for a draw; and (2) a sudden England batting collapse and NZ win.

  10. Reply
    Suave   //   March 7th, 2008 at 11:54

    I choose 2.

    It’s what is most deserved for this bunch of bastards.

  11. Reply
    Mahinda   //   March 7th, 2008 at 12:29

    I think I might technically binge drinked (binge drunk? Binged drink?) last night.

    Oops.

  12. Reply
    Lee   //   March 7th, 2008 at 12:40

    “Lee, we wonder whether Jones merely had the best-timed purple patch and whether there’s been no opportunity to show it up as just that.”

    It think he is definitely a classy bowler, particularly his ability to use and more importantly control a reversing ball. But it is unlikely that if he were to come back today, even on 2005 form, he would carry and save this attack – he’s not that sor tof bowler.

    He’d be better than Harmy though. Mind you, I’d be better than Harmy at the minute and I’m an off-spinner. And shit.

  13. Reply
    Mahinda   //   March 7th, 2008 at 12:46

    Oh, and happy birthday Mr. Suave!

    BTW, have you lot seen this picture of Michael Vaughan?

    http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2008/03/07/vaughanactionJasonObrien1.jpg

    There’s clearly something about Vaughany.

  14. Reply
    Suave   //   March 7th, 2008 at 13:18

    Hair raising, Mahinda!!

  15. Reply
    Suave   //   March 7th, 2008 at 13:20

    Lee, your bowling prowess seems to be in line with mine..

    Although, I can only claim to be an off. As I can’t spin the ball for toffee.

    I am also shit,.

  16. Reply
    Dada   //   March 7th, 2008 at 13:46

    Maybe the Ashes 2005 series was the blip on the otherwise average (at best) performances of England which has caused the world to over rate the world beating Englishmen.

    All this talk of binge drinking and no mention of Freddie?

  17. Reply
    Mahinda   //   March 7th, 2008 at 13:56

    binge –noun
    1. a period or bout, usually brief, of excessive indulgence, as in eating, drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.; spree.

    Which is why Freddie doesn’t binge drink.

  18. Reply
    Miriam   //   March 7th, 2008 at 14:48

    True, Mahinda. It’s not binge drinking if you do it all the time. Take THAT, nanny state!

  19. Reply
    Dada   //   March 8th, 2008 at 23:07

    Take that indeed.
    While we’re at it broadcast it on national television and give the kids a good role model! Go Freddie.

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