The next Chanderpaul

Normally, when someone talks about ‘the next so-and-so’ it’s a load of old cobblers, but there really is another Chanderpaul – it’s Shiv’s son.

Even better, he’s almost, but not quite, named after a fruit. Tagenarine Chanderpaul is set to make his first-class debut in February, even though he’s only 16.

We didn’t think it was possible to improve on Shivnarine Chanderpaul in any way whatsoever, but if we could have the exact same person and he was also called Tagenarine, that would unarguably be better. Fingers crossed Tagenarine can tick the ‘genius of a batsman despite having a surfeit of elbows’ box. If he can, life just improved. For once.

No word yet on his younger brothers, Netecterine, Calementine and Mandarine.

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21 Appeals

  1. I badly want to think up a fruit joke, but I have work to do. Crap.

  2. How long before some wag decides to try nicknaming him “Dream”?

  3. Top banana

  4. Today was a laugh-out-loud day. Well done. Utterly puerile. Hilarious. Thank you…! 🙂

  5. There is another brother, Satsumarine.

  6. I’ve written the headline already:

    Finn Clean Bowls Tagenerine With an Absolute Jaffa.

    • Curse my lazy spelling. I’m giving myself lines.

      Write “I must spell Tagenarine correctly” 16 times Ged Ladd.

      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.
      I must spell Tagenarine correctly.

      Cut and paste takes a lot of the grunt out of lines I must say. That would have been a real chore in my day.

    • Very fair point, Ged. My last set of lines was to write “I must not cheat in a German test” 100 times. Ich war dreizehn jahre alt. I went for the writing I I I I I I Must Must Must Must Must Must approach (there were always two schools of thought as to which was optimal).

      Still, it taught me a lesson. That being to write the answers on a smaller piece of paper and to lean back less obviously when trying to read it on my lap.

    • The first time I ever got lines, the teacher didn’t tell us what to write. One of my friends who also got lines just used a ruler to draw lines on a piece of paper and feigned ignorance. He got away with it, too.

    • I once tried to be smart by writing the necessary line once, then several “ditto” marks underneath.

      It didn’t work.

      Luckily I was a teacher’s pet, so I didn’t get lines very often.

  7. I have named my son and heir redwinerine

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