24

We don’t hate Graeme Smith

Bowled on 5th August, 2008 at 12:15 by King Cricket
Category: Graeme Smith, South Africa

Essentially just a chin perched atop an inverted pyramidWhile we’re coming clean about these things, we might as well ‘fess up on this one as well.

South Africa are probably the least popular Test team other than England (sorry people, but we have a richly questionable history as a nation, largely at the expense of other cricketing countries). Graeme Smith is arguably South Africa’s least popular player. We quite like him.

We like that he was made South Africa captain at just 22 having not been part of the first team, yet felt that he could immediately slag Lance Klusener off upon taking the job. We’ve nothing against Lance Klusener, but he was a major part of the team and Smith’s approach was the equivalent of punching out the huge guy on your first day in prison.

Then he came to England and made 277, 85 and 259 in his first three Test innings over here. Some cricketers can’t attain that level of merciless thuggery after a lifetime in the game. We hated it of course, but we didn’t hate Smith for doing it.

We also like the unbelievable stupidity of the man when he tried to put himself forward as a kind of lightning rod for Antipodean ridicule when South Africa toured Australia. The Australians were only too happy to oblige, but at least he was trying to be noble.

This week he did for another England captain with the most sublimely cussed fourth innings batting imaginable. It was elevated yet further by several of his batting partners virtually bursting into tears at several points. Graeme Smith didn’t concern himself with any of that rubbish. He just carried on hitting runs until South Africa had won the series.

We are now reading this and it is ruddy amazing

Make an appeal
  1. Reply
    jrod   //   August 5th, 2008 at 12:41

    The Australian Media love him too.

  2. Reply
    Rusty   //   August 5th, 2008 at 12:58

    KC

    What’s come over you all of a sudden? all these confessions? becoming weighty and serious?

    you having a middle life crisis? turing 30?

  3. Reply
    Ceci   //   August 5th, 2008 at 13:05

    Am an out of the closet Biffa fan – saw him in the 20/20 cup gallop over to Chris Gayle as he walked off after walloping 117 of SA and congratulate him – and have possibly slightly confused him with the nascent Bollywood star and startling innocent portrayed in the Graeme Smith diaries (as told to Dan Nicholl) http://sport.iafrica.com/columns/dan_world/1054422.htm. I am sure there is no element of spoofery in the diary – Mr Nicholl has been his faithful diarist for several tours

  4. Reply
    King Cricket   //   August 5th, 2008 at 13:21

    Rusty, ‘weighty and serious’. Your words cut us deeply.

    We will address your concerns immediately. We’re ashamed of ourself.

  5. Reply
    Ne   //   August 5th, 2008 at 13:46

    Just who do you hate? let it out.

    Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.

  6. Reply
    dcsiva   //   August 5th, 2008 at 14:09

    “Some cricketers can’t attain that level of merciless thuggery after a lifetime in the game. ”

    Priceless, your royal first personness. Does it almost remind one of King Viv?

  7. Reply
    King Cricket   //   August 5th, 2008 at 14:13

    Ooh. Don’t think we’d go that far. Smith’s far more functional and low-key.

  8. Reply
    Eloise   //   August 5th, 2008 at 14:24

    Smith is actually hugely sexy in an indefinable way.

  9. Reply
    Lemon Bella   //   August 5th, 2008 at 14:50

    Eloise, it’s not indefinable; it’s the Graemeyness.

  10. Reply
    Charlotte   //   August 5th, 2008 at 14:51

    Eloise, I agree with you. We should form a club of some kind.

  11. Reply
    Ceci   //   August 5th, 2008 at 21:01

    Biffa’s Babes it is then

  12. Reply
    Lemon Bella   //   August 5th, 2008 at 21:28

    Will there be some kind of t-shirt?

  13. Reply
    Raoul   //   August 5th, 2008 at 23:05

    @Ne: Matthew Hayden.
    ’nuff said.

  14. Reply
    SixSixEight   //   August 6th, 2008 at 00:22

    Enough of the love-in already! Someone has to be a conscientious objector!
    The Andre Nel correction class? Perhaps?!………..Wearing a t-shirt with Biffa on it, well that is just the last straw!

  15. Reply
    Enkidu   //   August 6th, 2008 at 05:33

    Dudes,

    All these confessions are unsettling. For god’s sake (and for the sake of cricket, country and good taste) please don’t renege on the agreed and stated premise of this whole blog — a shared hatred of Matthew Hayden.

    Enkidu

  16. Reply
    King Cricket   //   August 6th, 2008 at 09:40

    Have no fear everyone. Our Hayden hating streak is still wide enough to swallow the earth.

    Our confessions are over. We’ve purged. We can get on with the site like usual.

  17. Reply
    queenie   //   August 6th, 2008 at 09:45

    It’s the complete lack of lips that does it for me.

    I guess if nobody hates KP and Graeme Smith after all then that means we can’t do the ‘pair of South African tossers’ joke on Thursday?

  18. Reply
    Mahinda   //   August 6th, 2008 at 12:35

    Ladies, you’re going to have to fight my friend Suse for first dibs on Graeme Smith. And she’s pretty feisty…if somewhat myopic.

  19. Reply
    horatius   //   August 6th, 2008 at 15:57

    OK. Enough of the lovefest here. For the sake of mankind, I accept the burden. Yes. All of it, on my slender shoulders. Graeme Smith is a soddy bastard and it’ll b a cold day in hell if I’ll take his hand to save me from drowning.

    He does have a pretty laugh though.

  20. Reply
    Suave   //   August 6th, 2008 at 17:15

    fuck it, i still hate tge man. Himself and hayden eat orphans for fucks sake! People, stop ignoring the facts.

    Also, If The England don’t end yp second in the world rankings come Jan1st 2009, i have to wear a teeshirt proclaiming my love for the man.

    That’s not on.

  21. Reply
    Samir Chopra   //   August 7th, 2008 at 23:04

    Has anyone noticed the size of that man’s arse? Especially in the photo of his mates hugging him after his 154?

  22. Reply
    Abigail   //   August 15th, 2008 at 06:54

    I think that Smith is the sexiest cricketer on this planet.Where do I start?- the broad shoulders – the sexy accent and voice – the huge hands – the deep blue eyes. Any other woman have fantasies about him running his hands over them?

  23. Reply
    Madge   //   August 15th, 2008 at 06:57

    I can’t understand why Graeme Smith does not have a girlfriend. I know chicks who would leave their man for him. Don’t they have anyone in South Africa who is interested? I suggest he makes a play for the English birds.

  24. Reply
    twinkle   //   June 15th, 2011 at 10:11

    graeme smith is awesome . he is the handsome cricketer i have ever seen “

Discussion Area - Make an appeal

Comment RSS | TrackBack URL

Cricket history

Photographs on this site by Sarah Ansell

sarah_ansell.jpeg