However, a variety of unexpected and fairly inexplicable obstacles are placed in your path if, as a guest, you attempt to purchase any of these treats. I got a tray together and reached the till only to find that money is no longer used in this bizarre new world. Another condescending look ensued as I was informed that to procure my breakfast the precious card must be topped up with money at a confusing looking computer terminal located beside another glass wall.

At this point you can ask the girls at the front desk for help if you want yet another withering look, or you can just amuse the security guards and staff by wondering around the glass maze for a little longer with a pleading, pathetic look on your face. Honestly, I have no idea how I got money on my card but I have never had a more traumatic cup of coffee in my life.

Of course there was no change so I ended up dumping some money with the precious on the way out, meaning I paid for this torture. The whole thing was highly confusing, but months later I finally understood everything when I chanced upon Sky channel 378 and found a familiar looking reality show called “The Glass Office”…In fact, I think I saw the author looking particularly stupid in episode 4 of series 3.

Oh, perhaps you were talking to KC, Bert?

Great yarn, your majesty.

Crafty old Murdoch! Always thinking about economies of scale!