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We’re pacing ourself like Eoin Morgan

Bowled on 23rd June, 2010 at 18:56 by King Cricket
Category: Eoin Morgan

Eoin Morgan playing a mediocre sort of shot

Apologies for the delay. We’ve a new internet provider and getting back online is never easier than pushing string.

Eoin Morgan’s hundred against Australia is worthy of high praise, but if we’ve learnt anything from the serious-faced Paddy finishotron, it’s to pace yourself. We’ve got to leave ourself room for manoeuvre for when he plays an even more exceptional innings.

We’ve said he’s played the best Twenty20 innings by an England player, we’ve called him a Paul Collingwood deluxe and we’ve said he’ll make it as a Test batsman. We’re not going to leave ourself anywhere to go at this rate.

With that in mind, Eoin Morgan’s 85-ball 103 not out to get England home against Australia was somewhere between ‘passably fair’ and ‘reasonable’.

By this new scale, Ajit Agarkar’s bowling is now officially ‘unclassified’.

We heartily recommend WG Grace Ate My Pedalo by Alan Tyers

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  1. Reply
    Jake   //   June 23rd, 2010 at 22:19

    The problem with praising England players is that either no-one takes you seriously or everyone assumes you are being sarcastic.

    Hence you can get around the problem by praising them in language a child on Sesame street would use. This avoids being uninteresting and presents how low you are willing to go to compliment them.

    On that basis, I believe that Eoin Morgan is an izzy whizzy super duper cricketer.

  2. Reply
    Dada   //   June 23rd, 2010 at 23:56

    What about Ajit Agarkar’s batting?

  3. Reply
    thesaurusrus   //   June 24th, 2010 at 03:24

    I don’t understand why you are being nasty about Agarkar. He averages 47.32 batting and 16.79 bowling in Tests.

    Ohhh! ROFLMBO it’s the other way around, LOL

  4. Reply
    Ged   //   June 24th, 2010 at 08:17

    Agarkar made a stunning red ink test hundred against England at Lord’s but on no other occasion even made 50 in a test. Indeed, his measley test batting average drops by nearly 3 runs if you remove that one innings.

    I thought Eoin Morgan’s batting the other night was OK.

  5. Reply
    Bobby K   //   June 24th, 2010 at 08:37

    The odd thing about Morgan is that he is actually completely faultless.

    Look at any other England cricketer and we can always pick holes in some aspect of their game but Eoin doesn’t seem to have any weaknesses.

  6. Reply
    Andy   //   June 24th, 2010 at 09:49

    Struggling to fault his batting technique I find myself drawn to his name. No matter how often I hear it pronounced as Owen I see it as Eoin (EE-O-IN). It is proving a terrible distraction not felt since Derwla Kirwin accomdated Michael Gambon in a field of long grass. Off to have words with myself!

  7. Reply
    King Cricket   //   June 24th, 2010 at 10:35

    We favour a distinctly Irish vowel sound that’s neither ‘Owen’ or ‘Eoin’. It might not be the right one, but it makes us feel better. It’s kind of ‘Orrrrn’.

    No advice rearding Kirwan and Gambon though. You’re on your own with that one.

  8. Reply
    Bobby K   //   June 24th, 2010 at 10:40

    KC, with pronunciation like that you could be a WC commentator for ITV.

  9. Reply
    Andy   //   June 24th, 2010 at 10:57

    oh yes and he’s ginger!!

  10. Reply
    King Cricket   //   June 24th, 2010 at 11:03

    Bobby K, our attempt is probably too accurate for that.

    All-time worst pronounced footballer’s name: Christian Karembeu.

    No, it doesn’t rhyme with caribou.

  11. Reply
    Dandy Dan   //   June 24th, 2010 at 12:21

    What about George Woooooootaannge?

  12. Reply
    Ged   //   June 24th, 2010 at 13:46

    You can’t pronounce it “Orrrrn”, your majesty, Eoin Morgan hails from the republic, not Northern Ireland.

    Pronounce it Owin’ with a relatively soft “o”, as in “owin’ the rent”. Your majesty.

  13. Reply
    King Cricket   //   June 24th, 2010 at 13:48

    That’s true, it does come out a bit Ian Paisley.

    Consider our pronunciation altered henceforth.

  14. Reply
    Andy   //   June 24th, 2010 at 17:14

    Try as I might I am unable to deal with Jacques du Toit . Is he a Twat. KC can you annunciate on this?

  15. Reply
    Deep Cower   //   June 24th, 2010 at 17:24

    I like how thesaurusrus appended an LOL at the end of his sentence, just in case his ROFLMBO failed to drive home the point.

  16. Reply
    Sami   //   June 24th, 2010 at 20:30

    Given that his stupid reverse sweep is is supposed to be ‘his’ shot, he doesn’t half enjoy lucky top edged variations.

  17. Reply
    Ged   //   June 25th, 2010 at 12:29

    Is that Errrrn Paisley Junior, or Lord Paisley, your majesty?

  18. Reply
    Judson Daniel   //   June 28th, 2010 at 17:08

    Why don’t you guys leave Agarkar alone????

    What has all the other filthy bowlers in India done to invite any appreciation????

    You and your sick attitude…….

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