< 1 minute read Andrew Flintoff, Simon Jones, Darren Pattinson, Tim Bresnan. How bloody wide of the mark can the mainstream media get? Very. That’s how wide. There’s the mark and… …there… that’s where they are. Wide and perhaps a little bit low as well. The real news is of course His inclusion in
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Martin van Jaarsveld thrives under his captain
< 1 minute read Not literally under his captain. That would be painful, even allowing for Rob Key’s new, racing snake physique. Against Surrey, Martin van Jaarsveld hit two unbeaten hundreds and took 5-33, even though he’d never taken more than two wickets in an innings before. When asked what precipitated this rare spell
Continue readingThe Durham bowling attack
2 minute read We’ve come up with an ingenious plan that will make England’s bowling attack the envy of the world: tell each of the bowlers that he’s playing for Durham. Seriously. Tell someone – anyone – that they’re playing for Durham and they’ll take wickets. The presenters of Loose Women could take
Continue readingWho is Jade Dernbach?
< 1 minute read He is both a cad and a bounder and you should beware his dandy ways. We’d say that Jade was a girl’s name if it were, in fact, a name at all. 24 first-class wickets at 40.62 and somehow he bowled Rob Key first ball. Some facts about Jade Dernbach:
Continue readingTim Bresnan crosses the line
< 1 minute read It’s okay – it’s a good line. It’s the line you have to cross to get written about on King Cricket. Tim Bresnan has been having one of those quietly productive seasons in which our Ones To Watch seem to specialise. Despite having taken more wickets than anyone else in
Continue readingSimon Jones mops up the tail
< 1 minute read Give Simon Jones a mop and present him with a flexible rear appendage and he will GET TO WORK. Jones took 5-30 against Leicestershire yesterday, clean bowling eight, nine and ten to finish the innings. It’s not the first time this season he’s bulked up the wickets column by polishing
Continue readingGraham Napier’s ‘mensely bad timing
< 1 minute read This is what we’re pommily whinging about. Graham Napier hit ‘mense amounts of runs off negligible balls due to a ‘mense number of sixes. Yet where’s our report? Napier’s innings ended during the beer hours and we can’t be expected to remain coherent at that time. How much more ‘mensely
Continue readingOnce upon a time Joe Denly did something good
< 1 minute read Three problems with the Twenty20 Cup. (1) While the matches are at a great time for supporters, they’re at a rubbish time for people writing about them because they finish during the beer hours. (2) There are about ten matches a day and we quite simply don’t have ten pieces
Continue readingLancashire Lemurs
< 1 minute read We’re going to the Twenty20 match on Friday, then we’re away for a week. As usual we’ve written stuff in advance, so you probably won’t notice or care that we’re gone. Two things: (1) When we say we’re not going to be here – we’re not going to be here.
Continue readingRavi Bopara hits a one-day double hundred
< 1 minute read Test duck-scoring shortarse with a point to prove, Ravi Bopara, proved his point weeks ago. Ravi’s now had his point embossed on his batting glove and his systematically punching everyone in the face with it. If you don’t know that Ravi Bopara is serious about playing for England, you’ll see
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