2 minute read Tim May, chief executive of the Federation of International Cricketers Associations, explains why Australia are likely to tour India, but wouldn’t visit Pakistan (like usual) for the Champions Trophy: “Pakistan has had 66 suicide bombings within its country over the past 12 months with over 3,000 people killed and 17
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Jesse Ryder’s back
< 1 minute read Is broad and pudgy and malleable like plasticine. It’s an amorphous, wobbling built-in cushion so he can lie down anywhere and feel comfortable. It’s also a trap. When Jesse Ryder needs to take all that weight off his feet, he plonks himself down and leans into his back’s exquisitely welcoming
Continue readingAndrew Symonds: tool
< 1 minute read We’ve long suspected Andrew Symonds of being a five-year-old trapped in the body of a hirsute cow. That opinion is being reinforced of late. From The Australian: “Stung $3000 for missing the team bus, he became what one person described as “the rule Nazi” and would ensure he was on
Continue readingWho the hell is Jason Krejza?
< 1 minute read Australia have called up an off-spinner called Jason Krejza as support for Bryce McGain in the upcoming Test series against India. How Australia’s spin resources have – well – evaporated. Even McGain (who we won’t say a word against) will be a debutant. Other Australian spinners we know: Dan Cullen,
Continue readingLaurence embraces the modern way
2 minute read Modern sides bat right down to number eight and as no-one else is up to the task, I step up. It’s deep into our innings before I am called upon. The bowlers will be flagging by now. I will take advantage. The time has come for Laurence Elderbrook to take
Continue readingBotham flouts health and safety regulations
< 1 minute read Is that suitable footwear? No. Should he be removing his hard hat? No. Also, it’s generally accepted that a high-visibility tabard be worn over the top of ordinary clothing so that you can easily be seen. Botham is wearing high-visibility clothing, but has concealed its garish, eye-catching qualities beneath a
Continue readingEngland v South Africa at the Oval – a match report
2 minute read Before you read this, we’d just like to make one thing abundantly clear about the sickening content that follows. King Cricket in no way encourages you to contact, meet or socialise with other readers of the site as it flies in the face of our whole philosophy. In fact, it’s
Continue readingCricket Life 1 update
< 1 minute read Those of you with elephantine memories may be wondering whether Cricket Life‘s out yet. It’s not. However, their website has been updated with a fantastic picture of Mike Hussey. “Okay, Mike. If you could just try and look a bit more like a retarded cow then that’d be great. “Okay,
Continue readingEngland’s Stanford Twenty20 squad
< 1 minute read We’ve been waiting for the announcement of England’s Stanford squad with the strange notion that we’d have something to say about it. Other than bemoaning the absence of Ian Austin, Chris Tavaré and Alan Igglesden, we’ve nothing. The squad’s who you think it is and the same players make up
Continue readingMark Nicholas presents Britain’s Best Dish
< 1 minute read Did you know about this? Why did no-one tell us? Here’s what the Britain’s Best Dish site says: “After a hugely successful transition to cuisine, Mark has returned to present the second series of Britain’s Best Dish.” We suppose that if you make a hugely successful transition into something, you’re
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