< 1 minute read Let’s close our eyes to England’s filthy performance and instead imagine we’re in Sri Lanka. The sun is shining, monkeys are rife, you’re having string hoppers for breakfast and Sri Lanka are playing India in Colombo. They’ll already have started by now and Ajantha Mendis should be playing. Unfortunately, Lasith
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Liam Plunkett does more than enough to earn a Test recall
< 1 minute read Liam Plunkett took 3-16 as Durham FINALLY made it into the Twenty20 Cup semi finals. With three superlative overs behind him, Plunkett’s surely in line for a Test recall. That’s a whole opening spell for England these days.
Continue readingMorne Morkel seems rather handy
< 1 minute read Who needs spinners when you’ve got bowlers like Morne Morkel? Pace, bounce, seam, swing, accuracy and stamina. It’s a quick bowling full house. England need a five-man attack to cover all those bases. Can he stay free from injury? Will he bowl well in tighter matches than these? Probably –
Continue readingLet’s second guess England’s selectors
2 minute read Just prior to the second Test, someone swapped England’s selectors’ supply of mogadon-laced Danish pastries for a batch of E-number laden kids’ snacks. Rumour has it they ate that unnerving stretchy cheese from the advert. We don’t know much, but we do know that cheese should never stretch without the
Continue readingDoes anyone else feel like it’s the Nineties?
< 1 minute read Totally unpredictable team selection, a batting line-up that’s five-out all-out and a bowling attack that seems to spend its time waiting for the clouds to roll in and which is utterly ineffective otherwise. But it can’t be the Nineties, because the worry lines caused by English cricket of that era
Continue readingNeil Manthorp on TMS
< 1 minute read Having badmouthed TMS last week, we feel that we should redress the balance and one person we’ve really warmed to has been South African journalist Neil Manthorp. Somehow we’ve never heard a lot of Manthorp before, or maybe we just haven’t noticed him, but on scant evidence he’s now our
Continue readingDarren Pattinson jumps the queue
< 1 minute read We’ll give Darren Pattinson a chance, but… (1) It’s not being Australian that makes someone a good cricketer. Australia themselves leave out plenty of Australians from their Test side. (2) Trent Bridge, where Pattinson plays half his cricket, is kind to swing bowlers. (3) If Chris Tremlett is first reserve, then
Continue readingBrett Lee is a liar
< 1 minute read Brett Lee’s been caught out in an EVIL and WICKED lie. We always knew that genial smile concealed unparalleled deviousness: “We’ve got the Ashes coming up as well which we are not directly looking forward to right now because we have a few things in place that we have to
Continue readingMiddlesex v Kent Twenty20 match report
2 minute read Soviet Onion writes: I returned from a holiday in Sri Lanka last week, and within minutes of getting home I did what I usually do after work and went through lots of pages on Teletext (does anyone else still do this?). On page 354 I noticed upcoming cricket fixtures –
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff playing for England
< 1 minute read We were hugely, hugely impressed with Graeme Smith and Neil McKenzie in the Lord’s Test. We don’t care what the pitch was like – just imagine coming out to bat after you’ve been so comprehensively trampled for three days. Imagine what would have happened to England in the same situation.
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