The Jonathan Trott era

Can we make this ‘a thing’? We’re pretty sure it’s a thing. The story goes like this: England pick Trott, he scores a hundred and they reclaim the Ashes. He then spends the next four years shielding the middle order so that it – and also the lower order –

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Living within the England panopticon

Writing in The Times, Mike Atherton has said of the England setup: “The impression is of a closed, institutionalised and claustrophobic world.” We’re sure he chose his words carefully. It’s also worth noting that this is a man who felt the strains of international cricket despite only ever considering it

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Bring forth the dobble

Paul Collingwood’s bowling was always a bit too canny to be proper dibbly dobbly medium-pace. There were too many cutters; too much innovation. You don’t get any of that crap from Jonathan Trott. England’s four bowler policy means the batsmen have to chip in with a few overs. Ravi Bopara’s

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Jonathan Trott bats too quickly

In scoring at 77.33 runs per hundred balls, Jonathan Trott careered out of control, like a giant rubber ball belting down Snowdon. That’s the only reason we can come up with as to why he might have got himself out for 58. Or maybe he’s got a weakness against left-arm

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Jonathan Trott is relentless

Jonathan Trott is on holiday with his family. They decide to play table tennis – winner stays on. After Trott has won the first 18 games, Mrs Trott quietly suggests that he might like to find a way to let the kids win a couple. Trott says no. After 86

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