The Jonathan Trott era

3 minute read Can we make this ‘a thing’? We’re pretty sure it’s a thing. The story goes like this: England pick Trott, he scores a hundred and they reclaim the Ashes. He then spends the next four years shielding the middle order so that it – and also the lower order –

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Living within the England panopticon

2 minute read Writing in The Times, Mike Atherton has said of the England setup: “The impression is of a closed, institutionalised and claustrophobic world.” We’re sure he chose his words carefully. It’s also worth noting that this is a man who felt the strains of international cricket despite only ever considering it

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Gautam Gambhir’s arse senses boot

2 minute read More often than not, an out of form batsman needs to be treated sensitively and given reassurance. If their confidence returns, they tend to discover it was actually all that was ever absent. Then again, sometimes a batsman needs the bracing reality check that comes with having someone’s lace holes

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Bring forth the dobble

< 1 minute read Paul Collingwood’s bowling was always a bit too canny to be proper dibbly dobbly medium-pace. There were too many cutters; too much innovation. You don’t get any of that crap from Jonathan Trott. England’s four bowler policy means the batsmen have to chip in with a few overs. Ravi Bopara’s

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Jonathan Trott bats too quickly

< 1 minute read In scoring at 77.33 runs per hundred balls, Jonathan Trott careered out of control, like a giant rubber ball belting down Snowdon. That’s the only reason we can come up with as to why he might have got himself out for 58. Or maybe he’s got a weakness against left-arm

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Jonathan Trott is relentless

< 1 minute read Jonathan Trott is on holiday with his family. They decide to play table tennis – winner stays on. After Trott has won the first 18 games, Mrs Trott quietly suggests that he might like to find a way to let the kids win a couple. Trott says no. After 86

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