Lancashire lose to Scotland again

Kyle Hogg appeals for a chance to bat at eightThere were some low-scoring matches in the Friends Provident Trophy this weekend and not only where matches were shortened because of rain.

Scotland, who had won at Old Trafford in 2003 and 2007 managed a relatively feeble 155-9 from their 50 overs, but Lancashire completely ballsed up their chase and could only manage 153-9. At one stage they were 44-7.

Kyle Hogg made 66 at that point – comfortably the highest score of the match. He was batting at nine. Simon Marshall, who’s hit a championship hundred, came in at ten.

It would be nice if Lancashire’s young all-rounders got a chance to bat when it wasn’t a crisis, but Hogg and Marshall usually only get to play in one-dayers and if they’re always nine and ten, they’ll only reach the crease when things aren’t going well. It seems a waste, or unfair or something.

Maybe Lancashire’s batsmen should just draw batting positions out of a hat before each match. We recommend a fez for this purpose. The choice of hat is of vital importance.

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23 Appeals

  1. A fine choice. They’re sure to win now.

  2. I have to disagree – drawing batting positions out of a fez would be a bit silly. A trilby would be more in keeping with the seriousness of the situation.

  3. Captain Kirk

    May 6, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Surely a bowler hat?

  4. King Cricket

    May 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    Let’s face it, that’s not going to be beaten.

  5. I have it on good (or rather imaginary) information that there’ll be a well matured Notts baseball cap available for just these events soon…

    I was trying to find a better hat than a bowler, but wikipedia was not helpful in making a suitable named one exist. I am now tittering inside constantly at the word “wimple”.

  6. If Mike Gatting was playing for Lancs I would have attempted a feeble word play involving ‘pork pie hat’, but as he isn’t, I won’t.

  7. Of course, all of this would depend on the availability of said hats at the local Haberdashery.

    I’ve always wanted to use the word haberdashery in casual conversation.

  8. King Cricket

    May 6, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    We always thought we could work in a shop of some kind. Maybe in a haberdashery, or a chapeau shop or something.

  9. That’s just like my Mrs. She’s always using haberdashery in casual conversation for the sake of it. She goes to the John Lewis haberdashers just to say she’s been there. Then rings her mum to repeat it.

    Our flat is full of useless bits of thread and material. It feels like a haberdashery.

  10. I actually went to a Haberdashers’ school, so feel suitably qualified to comment on such matters.

    Haberdashers originally sold “small wares” — little things used by dressmakers and tailors, e.g. ribbons, thread, pins and so on. It was only later, 1502 in fact, that they were joined by the hatmakers. Thus there are two types of haberdasher; the original variety, and the hatmakers.

  11. You should see them scrap at the annual haberdashers ball.

    Not a pretty sight.

  12. I thought hat makers were milliners?

    Mahinda, if you went to a Haberdashers school, which one are you? Do you make hats or dresses? And who wins the scrap at the ball?

    Hat makers surely, they’d be madder.

  13. If Lancs want a custom designed original hat they’ll go to a milliner – if they want a bog-standard manufactured hat (but not a Derby) they can go to a haberdashers. So Lancs – dull and safe or the cutting edge of hattery?

  14. I’m neither a seamster nor a hatmaker, and certainly not a milliner.

    Being quite close to the bustling hatting metropolis that is Stockport, I reckon Lancs would be best-suited to workmanlike practical hats rather than fashionable Ascot-standard frippery.

    Perhaps a jaunty trilby?

  15. For Rob Key, a porkpie hat. He was looking disappointingly slender yesterday.

  16. They should go to the Stockport Hat Museum to choose a suitable hat.
    Passing there is always a highlight on my way to Old Trafford

  17. To be honest, the adoption of the baseball cap was a sad day for cricket – they could have been so much more imaginative…..

  18. I really cannot stand baseball caps. For me, their increase in numbers correlates directly with the decline in standards of behaviour, numeracy and literacy.

  19. There are fewer more distressing sights than that of an Englishman in a baseball cap.

  20. Binge drinking, drug addiction and murder are all directly caused by baseball caps.

  21. But Suave, did you see the stylish kids in the riot?

  22. I was one of them A P!

  23. Oi! Stop this! Stop it now.

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