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Tag: Lies about pictures

May 18, 2015 Extras / Regulars

Geoff Boycott to star in Triffids remake

Here’s a moment from the final scene when Geoff finds himself surrounded by a gang of maize. Okay, we’ll admit that’s a lie. Boycott’s Triffids film is being kept closely under wraps and they would never give away crucial plot information like this. The photo is actually from a press

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April 20, 2010 Regulars

Testing on cricketers

Animal testing facilities have recently taken to using cricketers in place of guinea pigs, mice and the like. They make them joust and then the loser gets his leg taken off. Don’t ask why.

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November 3, 2009 Australia / Regulars

Warney finds the ball

“Here it is!” “It was tucked between two of my rolls of flab.”

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October 1, 2009 Regulars

Everyone suddenly becomes aware that the stumps are liable to explode

No-one was quite sure what it was, but everyone agreed that it was very clear that the stumps suddenly seemed like they were going to explode. Billy Bowden backed away. Monty Panesar attempted to protect himself with his oversized hands and AB de Villiers just threw himself to the ground.

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January 30, 2009 Regulars

Always watch the ball

On no account stand six feet away from the stumps and watch the blimp instead. Canny bowlers will take advantage.

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January 29, 2009 Regulars

Andrew Strauss miscomprehends Law 41.3

The batting side only gets five penalty runs added to their total when the ball hits a helmet belonging to the fielding side. You can’t just repeatedly play the ball into your own face and hope to win a match.

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December 19, 2008 Regulars

Ian Bell attempts to grow a beard

Sam writes: “Here is a picture of Ian Bell attempting to grow a little beard. “Look at the concentration on his face. It’s dedication like this that shows just how far English cricket has come.” We asked Sam if he had a beard. Sam never got back to us about

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October 28, 2008 Regulars / West Indies

Stanford 20/20 gimmicks

It was only a matter of time before they introduce BIGGER and therefore BETTER balls. But the Miami Vice style attire? That’s a step too far.

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October 6, 2008 India / Regulars

India practice ‘clown tactics’

“So I curl up behind him like this and then you give him a shove.” India’s clown tactics were all well and good in theory, but when it came to carrying them out with an actual batsman present, everyone got confused and Sourav Ganguly ended up with a black eye.

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June 20, 2008 England / Regulars

Andrew Flintoff unveils his big surprise

“Voila!” Brilliant, Fred. It’s a cricket ball. We’ve all seen a cricket ball before. What’s next in your box of tricks? A bat? A box?

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RSS Features

  • Four of the weirdest eight-fors of the last 25 years (plus one nine-for and one ten-for)
  • Which of James Anderson’s near-identical reverse-swinging clean bowleds from the same over was the better?
  • The 1997 Ridiculous Ashes – all six episodes
  • The worst Test bowling averages of all time
  • What Ben Stokes, Jack Leach and Headingley 2019 tell us about Test cricket
  • Let’s try and identify England’s purest and greatest bits and pieces cricketer
  • The Awkwardest Squad: Why the 96/97 “flippin’ murdered ’em” tour of Zimbabwe was peak 90s England (a net bowler’s story)
  • Goldenarms: The best part-time bowlers in the history of Test cricket
  • Which Australia player was least happy about rewatching their Headingley 2019 nightmare?
  • Our very favourite thing about Netflix’s Cricket Fever: Lasith Malinga lurking in the background of every scene like a highly conspicuous ghost

Get the DeLorean up to 88mph

A random selection of articles from 2007 onwards.

  • Daniel Vettori’s batting average
  • Lancashire get shot of Simon Marshall
  • What Ryan Sidebottom should do next
  • The latest Ian Bell update has been released and it’s full of bugs and new features
  • Brett Lee is a liar

Manifesto

  • What Ben Stokes, Jack Leach and Headingley 2019 tell us about Test cricket
  • Runs don't have a fixed value
  • Play fewer matches
  • Keep the Ashes an 'event'
  • Play on good pitches
  • Why wickets, not runs, are what's important
  • Always play a spinner
  • What is bad light?
  • The second division of the County Championship doesn't count

Latest appeals

  • Aditya on How Dom Bess has massively improved his game since he last played
  • Aditya on How Dom Bess has massively improved his game since he last played
  • Deep Cower on How Dom Bess has massively improved his game since he last played
  • Ged Ladd on How Dom Bess has massively improved his game since he last played
  • Sam on How Dom Bess has massively improved his game since he last played

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • King Ghidorah being conspicuously indifferent to a pile of cricket books
  • A cat being conspicuously indifferent to the Boxing Day Test
  • Stanley being conspicuously indifferent to the Ashes

RSS Match reports

  • Cricket on a tea estate near Darjeeling – a match report
  • Headingley 2019 unwatched – a kind of match report
  • An Ashes-themed conversation starter pack on moral and ethical issues (a match report)

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A cricket ball lurking behind UK Health Secretary Matt Hancock
  • Cricket bats in a jigsaw
  • A cricket bat in a wrestling match

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