Animal testing facilities have recently taken to using cricketers in place of guinea pigs, mice and the like.

They make them joust and then the loser gets his leg taken off.

Don’t ask why.

No-one was quite sure what it was, but everyone agreed that it was very clear that the stumps suddenly seemed like they were going to explode.

Billy Bowden backed away. Monty Panesar attempted to protect himself with his oversized hands and AB de Villiers just threw himself to the ground.

On no account stand six feet away from the stumps and watch the blimp instead.

Canny bowlers will take advantage.

The batting side only gets five penalty runs added to their total when the ball hits a helmet belonging to the fielding side.

You can’t just repeatedly play the ball into your own face and hope to win a match.

Sam writes:

“Here is a picture of Ian Bell attempting to grow a little beard.

“Look at the concentration on his face. It’s dedication like this that shows just how far English cricket has come.”

We asked Sam if he had a beard. Sam never got back to us about that.