Geoff Boycott to star in Triffids remake

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Here’s a moment from the final scene when Geoff finds himself surrounded by a gang of maize.

Boycott in the maize

Okay, we’ll admit that’s a lie. Boycott’s Triffids film is being kept closely under wraps and they would never give away crucial plot information like this.

The photo is actually from a press release we received last July about York maze. We’ve only just got round to reporting on it because, well, you know, that’s just how we do things round here.

Obviously you’ve missed it now, but it seems that in 2014 they made a big old Geoff face maize maze.

Here it is.

Boycott aerial

And here’s a picture of Geoff with his two best friends shortly after tackling the maze. These are genuinely his best friends and it’s entirely coincidence that they both happen to be maize.

Geoff Boycott with Sweetie and Kernel

Join us tomorrow for something.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. If there’s going to be something similar tomorrow, does that make it a cereal?

    1. That would be milking it.

      Did Sir Geoffrey successful navigation his way out of this cornidor of uncertainty?

  2. Where’s the ‘lies about pictures’ tag?

    In ten years, when I’m still sitting at the same desk in the same office, bored out of my mind, how will I find this post to cheer myself up?

      1. Although maybe we should untag all the ones which no longer features images…

  3. Careful Geoffrey – if one of those costumed assistants were to offer you a very chewy toffee, like for example a Werthers Original but much, much chewier than that, you might find yourself chewing so much that your teeth eroded away completely, at which point any act of eating, especially if it were something hard like an Everton mint, would, one might assume, result in you having a sorghum, which is of course a cereal crop originally native to Australia and of significant value in large parts of Africa and Asia as well as a homophone with what you would be experiencing if all that happened, or indeed if someone punched you in the face.

  4. There’s currently discussions about girthful players on the Cricinfo county liveblog. I feel that y’all would approve.

  5. I’m not buying any of this story. Most of that so called “maze” isn’t even connected. It’s ridiculous. Sure it’s twisty turny and reveals the dour hero himself but the very idea that the centre of the maze is in fact a flower and not Geoff’s voice hole is preposterous. It calls into question the entire article.

    And how come this isn’t somehow about Strauss??

  6. One of them is not a Top Gear presenter and the other one collapsed on stage this year playing King Lear

  7. We can’t tell you how disappointed we are that nobody has cited the third hover caption as being the finest ever.

  8. If I knew who it was I I might give the caption an 8. Do they still have a gardening programme on BBC with a big buxom blonde who shows a lot of cleavage when she plants her seeds?

  9. It is pleasing to see GB being closely associated with vegetables (sic) almost as ill-looking as my avatar.

    1. That’s Trial by Odour. I will accept my fate for now and start work on La Guillotine.

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