First morning of the fourth Test on Test Match Special.
Geoff Boycott: “I can’t see any way England are going to win this.”
Jonathan Agnew: “We’ve only had 12 minutes!”
Geoff Boycott: “Well, I’m supposed to know what I’m talking about. That’s why I’m the expert and you’re the commentator.”
Boycott’s argument was based on the supposed flatness of the pitch, but it smacked of a five-year-old child waking up on Christmas morning, rushing downstairs, ripping open his present to find a Playstation 3, jamming the scart socket into the back of the TV, finding that nothing appears on the screen and then stamping his feet and screaming.
Three days later he has completed Gran Turismo 5, eaten too many mince pies and learned absolutely nothing.