10 Ashes Tests in a row
Sweet fucking Christ, does everyone in the world of cricket suffer from all three major forms of retardation? This is quite literally the worst idea of all time.
Back-to-back Ashes series. Ten England v Australia Tests in a row. Does no-one who has control over anything have even the most basic understanding of sport?
We should have seen it coming
The fresh, punchy Twenty20 World Cup that was far, far shorter than the 50-over World Cup was really popular. The overlong 50-over World Cup was massively disappointing.
They decided to shorten the 50-over World Cup and for a very short while we were all full of hope. Lesson learned?
No. They then announced that the Twenty20 World Cup was going to be longer, because that was the popular one.
But back-to-back Ashes? That’s something else
We get that the next Ashes in Australia can’t be played the same year as the World Cup that’s also taking place there. But quite honestly, we’d rather miss a series than have two back-to-back.
Yeah yeah yeah, commercial concerns and all that. We get it. But we also don’t give a shit about that.
Let us spell it out clearly and simply: the Ashes is a big deal because it is an event. That’s the whole fucking point.
It’s not about England v Australia. That’s why no-one gives a toss about these one-day matches. The Ashes is special because it doesn’t happen every day. Looking forward to it is half the point.
You can’t have the best thing all of the time because it rapidly becomes devalued. Too much of anything and it becomes mundane.
Any idiot knows that your 10th slice of cake isn’t as good as your first. And don’t you dare disagree – we’re not in the mood. Eating cake all the time would be fun for about half a day. Then it would be boring. Then it would be miserable.
What possible excuse can you give for having the same two teams play 10 Tests in a row against each other?
Let’s ask ECB marketing boss, Steve Elworthy. Why, Steve? Why?
Why the fuck are you ruining one of the last decent events in cricket?
“It’s important to maintain momentum.”
Jesus. This is what we’re up against.
We are completely fucked. Cricket will be dead within a decade.
You really should subscribe to our email updates - here's why
Follow the spring classics over at our cycling site.