Chris Woakes swings the ball less than Jimmy Anderson and seams it less than Stuart Broad. As an all-rounder, he isn’t as striking or dynamic as Ben Stokes. He’s still good though, isn’t he? For several years, England figured that even if there wasn’t an exact Chris-Woakes-shaped hole in their
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“I’m putting a team together for a job.” “You son of a bitch. I’m in.” In heist movies, whenever they put a team together, everyone’s always the best of the best; the best there’s ever been. You never make do with members of your heist team. You never settle. You
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It’s probably Shoaib Akhtar’s fault. It started with Wasim Akram, obviously. He was the one who first presented us with this idea that the current score might not necessarily be the real score. The scorecard in an early Nineties Lancashire match required a coda. ‘This many runs for this many
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We were going to do a recap of the England v Ireland one-dayers, but they haven’t actually finished yet. So instead we thought we’d switch focus and do a ‘precap’ of the Pakistan series. We thought we were being wilfully annoying by using a made-up word like ‘precap’ when we
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Two examples which highlight how unutterably dreadful David Willey’s timing is. Example one. In March 2019, Sky Sports commentator Ian Ward delivered the definitive expression of incredulity when David Willey opened the bowling against the West Indies in an Alice band. (You may have seen it.) In July 2020, almost
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There are two types of people in this world. There are annoying people and then there are people who pride themselves on being annoying. That’s it. Those are all the options. Everyone is annoying. Probably the most annoying person ever is Ben Kingsley’s insanely aggressive character in Sexy Beast, Don
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There are great batsmen and there are great shots. Then there is the greatest batsman of all (Stuart Broad) and his greatest shot of all (the hook). At this point in his career, Broad’s batting is all but flawless. Measured in conventional terms, it is of course massively flawed –
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Six-foot-six and a hundred tons, Rahkeem Cornwall is a cricketer who’s hard to ignore. We do not plan on ignoring him. This is how he’s like a cat. (1) Conserves energy wherever possible Never run if you can walk. Never walk if you can stroll. Never stroll if you can
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The ‘nice problem to have’ cliché klaxon is ringing out deafeningly this week. England need to take two full seam attacks and turn them into one. Three of the six pace bowlers to have appeared in this series so far will be selected for the third Test and three of
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People often say that Ben Stokes is two cricketers in one. This seems very disrespectful. If you’ve never seen or read Altered Carbon, the story is set in a future where people can transfer their consciousnesses into different bodies or ‘sleeves’. The technology was originally devised so that people could
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