Graeme Smith and Neil McKenzie set world record opening partnership

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Smith and McKenzie - 'partners'Opening partnerships are the most boring kinds of batting partnership – especially if it’s the first innings. There’s no context to the innings and you’re removing any doubt about the rest of the game. Let’s face it, after 415 runs without a wicket, it’s either going to be a South African win or a draw.

We admire it in for its cold remorselessness. We like players who don’t let the opposition have a sniff. But as records go, it’s not one of our favourites.

Must be a bit of a confidence booster though. Next innings, Smith and McKenzie can look at each other as they go out to bat and they can think to themselves: ‘We can bat for bloody ages together.’

Then McKenzie can think: ‘Smithy’s so strong’. And Smith can think: ‘McKenzie’s cover-driving’s dreamy.’ Then the pair of them will just drop their bats, discard their batting helmets and kiss.

Graeme Smith’s leg will bend at the knee and come up behind him.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. it’s all very well you trying to distract us with the bromance, but Bangladesh are hurting.

  2. You’d think the fathead Kallis would come to the party and whack a few then wouldn’t you? Nope – 39 off 120.

  3. I could have scored a hundred on that pitch, standing on one leg. I think we can consider both Smith and McKenzie’s failure to achieve 300 a most dismal failure.

    Dale Steyn is starting to frighten me, though.

  4. Egads man…What is this!!

    Some bastard blogging nightmare, to get thoughts of dirty Saffers having sex stuck in my brain forever.

    Cricket with Balls is piping on about Jacques Kallis thinking that he’s a love god, and now you with this man love opening partnership.

    I feel dirty.

  5. if mckenzie is the best opener we have then god help us. he is just the most tedious batsman to watch. and he’s bloody ancient.

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