We don’t hate Graeme Smith

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Essentially just a chin perched atop an inverted pyramidWhile we’re coming clean about these things, we might as well ‘fess up on this one as well.

South Africa are probably the least popular Test team other than England (sorry people, but we have a richly questionable history as a nation, largely at the expense of other cricketing countries). Graeme Smith is arguably South Africa’s least popular player. We quite like him.

We like that he was made South Africa captain at just 22 having not been part of the first team, yet felt that he could immediately slag Lance Klusener off upon taking the job. We’ve nothing against Lance Klusener, but he was a major part of the team and Smith’s approach was the equivalent of punching out the huge guy on your first day in prison.

Then he came to England and made 277, 85 and 259 in his first three Test innings over here. Some cricketers can’t attain that level of merciless thuggery after a lifetime in the game. We hated it of course, but we didn’t hate Smith for doing it.

We also like the unbelievable stupidity of the man when he tried to put himself forward as a kind of lightning rod for Antipodean ridicule when South Africa toured Australia. The Australians were only too happy to oblige, but at least he was trying to be noble.

This week he did for another England captain with the most sublimely cussed fourth innings batting imaginable. It was elevated yet further by several of his batting partners virtually bursting into tears at several points. Graeme Smith didn’t concern himself with any of that rubbish. He just carried on hitting runs until South Africa had won the series.


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  1. KC

    What’s come over you all of a sudden? all these confessions? becoming weighty and serious?

    you having a middle life crisis? turing 30?

  2. Am an out of the closet Biffa fan – saw him in the 20/20 cup gallop over to Chris Gayle as he walked off after walloping 117 of SA and congratulate him – and have possibly slightly confused him with the nascent Bollywood star and startling innocent portrayed in the Graeme Smith diaries (as told to Dan Nicholl) http://sport.iafrica.com/columns/dan_world/1054422.htm. I am sure there is no element of spoofery in the diary – Mr Nicholl has been his faithful diarist for several tours

  3. Rusty, ‘weighty and serious’. Your words cut us deeply.

    We will address your concerns immediately. We’re ashamed of ourself.

  4. Just who do you hate? let it out.

    Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you.

  5. “Some cricketers can’t attain that level of merciless thuggery after a lifetime in the game. ”

    Priceless, your royal first personness. Does it almost remind one of King Viv?

  6. Ooh. Don’t think we’d go that far. Smith’s far more functional and low-key.

  7. Enough of the love-in already! Someone has to be a conscientious objector!
    The Andre Nel correction class? Perhaps?!………..Wearing a t-shirt with Biffa on it, well that is just the last straw!

  8. Dudes,

    All these confessions are unsettling. For god’s sake (and for the sake of cricket, country and good taste) please don’t renege on the agreed and stated premise of this whole blog — a shared hatred of Matthew Hayden.


  9. Have no fear everyone. Our Hayden hating streak is still wide enough to swallow the earth.

    Our confessions are over. We’ve purged. We can get on with the site like usual.

  10. It’s the complete lack of lips that does it for me.

    I guess if nobody hates KP and Graeme Smith after all then that means we can’t do the ‘pair of South African tossers’ joke on Thursday?

  11. Ladies, you’re going to have to fight my friend Suse for first dibs on Graeme Smith. And she’s pretty feisty…if somewhat myopic.

  12. OK. Enough of the lovefest here. For the sake of mankind, I accept the burden. Yes. All of it, on my slender shoulders. Graeme Smith is a soddy bastard and it’ll b a cold day in hell if I’ll take his hand to save me from drowning.

    He does have a pretty laugh though.

  13. fuck it, i still hate tge man. Himself and hayden eat orphans for fucks sake! People, stop ignoring the facts.

    Also, If The England don’t end yp second in the world rankings come Jan1st 2009, i have to wear a teeshirt proclaiming my love for the man.

    That’s not on.

  14. I think that Smith is the sexiest cricketer on this planet.Where do I start?- the broad shoulders – the sexy accent and voice – the huge hands – the deep blue eyes. Any other woman have fantasies about him running his hands over them?

  15. I can’t understand why Graeme Smith does not have a girlfriend. I know chicks who would leave their man for him. Don’t they have anyone in South Africa who is interested? I suggest he makes a play for the English birds.

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