Rob Key conquers Australia and the USA AT ONCE

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“The dream scenario was to have Russell Crowe firing down bouncers at Jude Law and Robbie Williams in the final over of the inaugural G’Day USA Hollywood Ashes cricket match in suburban Los Angeles.”

Only 85 days until he next takes the field properlyThankfully, that nightmare never arose, because those three idiots didn’t bother turning up. Instead, Rob Key was on hand to hit an unbeaten 51 and to score the winning runs, thus ruining the celebration of all things Australian with his irrepressible Englishness and all-consuming godliness.

Steve Waugh played and made 40. Rob made 51. Rob Key is 27.5% better than Steve Waugh.

Thanks to Nemo for saving us the effort of scouring the entire internet for every single mention of Rob Key.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Huzzah for our pie-eating overlord!

    Now we know where you were for your week off, you were stalking our belevod behemoth to North American climes..

  2. ‘Stalking’ has pejorative connotations.

    We were just making sure he was safe AT ALL TIMES.

  3. Well I’m glad to hear that!

    Maybe I can use that in my court case for “Making sure she was safe at all times” with Kate Winslet…

  4. Miss Field, are you protecting Michael Vaughan? An Australian woman, “looking after”, our national captain?

    Whatever next, Shane Warne getting a knigthood?

    How queer.

  5. Wahey for Key! Flooded with offers from Hollywood, no doubt.

    I found this interesting snippet from wiki:
    “Key is regularly the subject of predictable newspaper puns, rotating around the common themes of “Rob holds the key to…” or “Key unlocks door to…””

    Thank goodness you dont suscribe to Daily Mail puns.

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