So, that Pakistan win, eh?

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< 1 minute read

Okay, let’s do this. Let’s write a 200-word article in which we somehow find a new way of emphasising how wonderful the third Test match between Pakistan and Sri Lanka was for readers who already know precisely how wonderful it was and who probably followed the match much more closely than we did anyway.

We’ll also shoe-horn in a hilarious joke at our own expense which somehow makes a wider point about cricket with additional implications for wider society. We’ll do this off the top of our head during a break at work while trying to block out the world’s worst radio station. The first comment will then relate to why we haven’t yet covered some earth-shattering news which one of Cricinfo’s billion writers has broken during a live transcription of a Mashrafe Mortaza press conference which was supposed to be about the chances of Khulna Division in next year’s whatever-the-hell-Bangladesh’s-first-class-competition-is-called. The resultant masterpiece – which will obviously be nothing of the sort – will then sit in prime position on a website of almost no significance for a matter of hours before the moron of a writer feels he needs to add something ‘fresh’, thus pushing the article further down the page, where it will never again be seen by a human.

Alternatively, we could have some sort of tetchy meltdown and one of you can point out that we’ve actually written 236 words, plus a rubbish headline.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Yes we ought to pay attention to cricket-board skullduggery but in the end, it’s all about Test matches, innit.

  2. It’s an outrage. While everyone is worrying about ECB, BCCI, and CA monopolising the money and power – Pakistan are trying to keep all the fun for themselves.

    1. All we needed to do was ‘be able to read’ in order to get that right. It’s a skill we always thought we had.

  3. I’ve not really been upon Pakistan matches. But whenever I see the scores Misbah seems to be getting runs. Isn’t he about 45. And actually quite good?

  4. I’m convinced the cricinfo article about the ‘coup’ is just a test to see how many acronyms I can keep track of at once. Seriously, BCCI-CA-ECB?! ExCo?! IDI?! F&CA?! It’s all too much – and I enjoy throwing jargon around that no-one else can understand.

  5. KC, I actually make it 237 words, excluding the (rubbish) headline. It has been a bad day for you.

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